Thanks BenK for the input.
Yes it has the dreaded U spacer on the hitch. I will eventually replace it but it will have to do for now.
Good to know on the washers. I know my engineering is backyard mechanic engineering and that's how I came up with the theory. But I have read enough of your posts including the weight distribution sticky from Ron to believe that you know a lot more about engineering than I do.
As far as the tongue weight. Don't know the spring rate so yeah I'll have to just go with not knowing it for now. I guess I could try the bathroom scale technique. But that scale is glass topped for me so I think I'll leave well enough alone.:)