The only vehicles I know that will open when you pull on the handles are Fords (front doors only -- the back doors require the locking knob) and BMWs where you pull the handle once to unlock, second time to open.
I think the Ford SYNC is a decent balance. It uses one's existing phone via BlueTooth, so if there is a wreck, it will use that to notify EMS. It will use the paired phone for status reports. However, other than that, it doesn't phone home without advance warning.