We have 8 adult children between the two of us and currently 7 grandchildren most of whom were born when we were away in Florida. Somehow they managed and we managed. We do not celebrate adult birthdays anymore and will send a gift and a Skype to grandchildren if we are not around. They do not live their lives for us and we do not live our lives for them. If our lives touch once in a while and they know we love them that is good for them and us. When we do see them it is a special treat for everyone not just Grampa and Nana coming over again. Some of our family lives thousand of kilometers away from us, same thing, we see them when we can.