You need to set criteria on what needs to be celebrated that day and what can wait or be celebrated from afar.
Excellent advice.
I'm sorry if I sounded like a self-righteous doormat.
LOL! No, you sound like someone who's put others ahead of your own needs/wants for many years. Your self-doubts are quite normal and it seems like you've figured it out on your own. We've done the same debate many times, almost always defer to family, rarely regret it but sometimes wish we hadn't. Glad you've redone your plans in a way to make yourself happy!