I have been battling gray water issues as well. My symptoms were a bit different but may be relevant.
I also have two gray tanks. One for the galley and the other for the head & laundry.
I keep my black valve closed and my gray valve open.
I have been having trouble with "mystery leaks" from the clothes washer for months. My washer is on the passenger side and the leak showed up as wet carpet on the drivers side storage bay. It took me weeks to figure out that it was coming from the washer. Only occurring when "large" loads of laundry were run.
While trying to figure that out the shower and vanity sink began to back up.
I tried the garden hose and snake methods.
After MUCH profanity and MANY showers I gave up and bought a gallon of Draino drain cleaner.
I know that I am going to get some grief for that but after much study I came to the conclusion that, other than the seals in the drain valve, all of the materials used in the waste plumbing in my 5'er are the same as in my house.
I poured 1/3 gallon in each of the drains (shower, sink and washer) and let is sit for two hours. I followed that with copious amounts of hot water.
Success!!
No more laundry leaks. No more standing in 3" of water while showering. Also, the "crud" that had been building up on the lower 1/3 of the drain pipe where the sewer hose connects is gone.
Good luck with your troubles.
S.