1981 Oregon
Globe Union Battery Co.
One assembly line, split into five conveyor roller branches...
Sears here, JC Penney there, Atlas, you name it. Then bright orange "pigs" came and separated the run. Clipped to the pigs were notes. Brand names, capacity, etc Four runs followed, some green case, some, black, white, and blue. It was "Group 24 Day". 45 amp hour, 60 amp hour, 85 amp hour models. A worker followed the notes and stuck labels onto the batteries. The batteries were boxed then stacked on pallets. Were they all "the same" with different labels? No.
Here we have a Klipsch speaker. There, we have a Bonzo speaker. Both have walnut grain finish and gold speckled speaker cloth. Everything is the same until the music plays.
Standard Ignition Co. 1981. Blue Streak. The one and same. Expensive. The parts house bozo raved "Better than brand new Dodge" A four pin ignition module. Both "The Mouth (owner) and the slip inside the fifty five dollar box proclaimed "Absolutely Interchangable" Four Pin - Five Pin.
Hooked it up. Instantaneous failure. "Bob" would absolutely not consider it for warranty. Sold me a second. K/O'd again. Drove 60 miles and got a NAPA. Instant failure No 3. Finally did detective work and found the absent pin on the four was switched in positions with the pin 5 on the original. I spent twenty dollars on the phone with Standard. Finally reached a genuine engineer. Instead of ego and mouth he listened. Standard, sent a check for $200.00. NAPA ignored me. End of customer -for life-.
Mopar. 440 engine with air conditioning. Water pump failure. Had seven blade impeller pump. "Don't need no steenking 7 blades on the impeller a half dozen parts stores told me. Six works exactly the same!" The boxes were stamped high-output, heavy-duty.
Customer returns with overheated engine. Went to Dodge, and finally got ahold of 7-blade pump. Cost twice as much. I ate the difference. Customer drove away happy.
How many of these Herb Tarlek adventures does it take to wise-up? Parts may look EXACTLY the same BECAUSE both manufacturers use EXACTLY the same metal casting source. The castings may say they are from the same city. But hidden are things you can't see but will slap you silly when they prove to be junk.
Take a Leviton 49 cent duplex receptacle and place it next to a Hubbell spec grade. They look exactly the same. They are like black and white. The cheap receptacle is a joke of a fire hazard. The Hubbell will outlive it thirty-to-one in heavy service.
Two IDENTICAL 1/2" wrenches from Harbor Fright, one is a year newer than the old. Guess what? The old wrench fits much better on a 1/2" bolt.
Water pumps, fuel pumps, hoses, radiators, ignition modules, when it comes to stuff that WILL LEAVE ME STRANDED I do not screw around. The highway between here and Vizcaino. Rode in a friend's pickup. Fuel pump failed halfway. We sat for hours, Eduardo flipped on his hazard warning lights when headlights were seen.
I bought an Amazon FIVE STARS RATED pair of Hakko flush cut dikes. Only used on soft drawn copper wire, 20-24 gauge. Made in Greece. They're garBAGHE! The cutters look like miniature wire strippers. Next stop WIHA! Nine dollars down the -------.
A good hand tool has the following features.
Chromium
Vanadium
Molybdenum M-O-L-Y-B-D-E-N-U-M
HEAT TREATED or INDUCTION HARDENED.
The molybdenum is what sets Snap On and Mac tools apart from the "GENUINE Chrome Vanadium" crowd.
The people who make garbage know the difference. No sweat. No sales, no paycheck. "Hey Herrrrrbbbb, come save us!"
Lifetime Guaranteed. Ten trips, eighty dollars in gas, and nine hours, lost = Is this quarter inch socket worth it? LIFETIME GUARANTEE! Grab the Velcro and Wing Nuts.
The phrase should have read. "Penny Wise and Benjamin Franklin, pathetically STUPID".
Growl, Snap, Foam, Snarl...
