To the OP you have heard lots of pros and cons to having a large 42 gallon tote.
I think you are correct you need to first determine if you even need a tote.
Your camping style,destinations,amount of RV occupants and water consumption will all factor in to your decision.
Are you willing to: use CG facilities,take Navy showers or avoid using water unnecessarily. Consumption will help determine size of tank if you decide you need one at all.
We never use CG facilities, seldom conserve water as we live in the RV almost in the same fashion as at home when it comes to showers. Although will do conserve a little when using water from the fresh tank.
Once you take a few trips and gain experience the decision will be easy. You might even find a 42 gallon tank is OK afterall.
Good Luck anmd enjoy your new rig.
