You correctly state that dry weights are meaningless at the beginning of your post but then do the comparison later in your post using dry weights. My advice would be to get the gross numbers for the trailers you are considering and then use those. If you figure tongue weight at 13% of gross, you can work backwards by deciding what tongue weight you can tolerate and calculate the max gross. It will be less than the 8,700# tow rating of your tow vehicle. For example, if you decide 800# tongue weight to be the max load you want to carry, dividing that by .13 gives you max trailer gross of 6,154#. My original trailer experience 20+ years ago is the same as yours. I wanted no more than a half ton truck as my daily ride to work so bought a trailer to match that. Not been disappointed. Good luck!