Nobody can tell you what the best setting is because every application is different. Not only that but the "best" setting can change with trailer load, truck load and brake wear. You want to adjust it so that it takes about the same amount of brake pressure to stop the truck with the trailer as it does to stop the truck without the trailer. In other words, the trailer stops itself. Even that is an elusive goal because there is no guarantee that the trailer brakes will behave the same as the truck brakes in a hard stop as they do for a moderate stop. So you basically have to set them for what you are comfortable driving with.
I don't want mine to lock up on asphalt so I generally adjust the gain so that they will just lock up on my gravel driveway. I use the knob on the trailer to test them instead of doing a full panic stop with the truck. That lets me focus more on what the trailer is doing. Most trailers come with daisy chain leaf springs to balance the load on the axles so keep in mind that this setup causes the load to shift from the front axle to the rear during braking events. That in turn leads to the front axle skidding long before the rear one does and leads you to having to make some judgement calls on the brake setting too.
Overall electric drum brakes are much better than no brakes but they are far from perfect and do require more thought in their use. One thing that they are very good for is controlling excessive trailer sway. If your trailer starts swaying too much a quick application of the trailer brakes will generally calm it down. If you find yourself doing this very often you need to work on your hitch setup or trailer loading. I have seen some accidents that could have been prevented with a manual trailer brake application.
Another thing to keep in mind is that some brake controllers disengage at very low speeds. This is fine in most cases and not even noticeable. However, I have had a few cases where I was trying make a sharp turn while going down a hill on gravel or a wet road and suddenly the trailer was pushing the truck the wrong direction. A quick manual application of the trailer brakes got things under control.
A quick summary:
Adjust them to what you are most comfortable driving with.
Be prepared to make manual interventions.
They will never work as well as your vehicle brakes so allow extra room for stops.