OP wrote:
My truck with the 6.4 has (off the top of my head) trailering capacity of 12900lbs and payload of 3060 lbs and the diesel has a trailering capacity of about 17000lbs but a payload of only around 2200lbs. What I really need to figure out is is my 6.4 gas going to do ok with the 5th (we may go over to south Carolina to visit relatives and such at times) or is the Cummins going to do better. The payload concerns me because if I stay under that by the time I get a 5th ight enough to do well with it it won't be any bigger than the one the fastest would pull. But then our family member seems to be doing well with his. I don't know maybe one of you guys can help me out
Your family member's Ram/Cummins does just fine 'cause he doesn't get caught up in rv website blather about need a 3500 one ton truck for a 12k-13k 5th wheel trailer.
A 2500 with the Cummins or 6.4 gas has the same 6000 RAWR that will be carrying all the trailers hitch load/the hitch and other gear in the bed.
Looking at Ram Body Builders guide show the 2500 truck with a 6.4 gas engine rear axle weighs 51 lbs lighter than the same exact truck with the Cummins.
So the Cummins or 6.4 gas has about the same in the bed payloads.
Most 2500 newer gen Rams rear axle weights I've seen run in the 2900/3000 lb range leaving around 3000/3100 lb in the bed payload = some 13k lb 5th wheel trailers.
You have the truck so get separate axle weights. That way you will know exactly how much trailer hitch weight you should be looking at.
Of course the Cummins has a huge advantage over the 6.4 gas engine in any size Ram/Dodge truck. The 17k tow rating isn't a problem with the Cummins but trailers that size has way too much pin weight for a 3/4 ton truck.