Freymann I originally had all the same problems as you. They were mostly caused by a dealer that didn't know what they were doing but Blue Ox helped me sort through it. Here goes my solution:
First ditch the factory wrench and get a 24" or longer breaker bar with a socket. Much easier to handle and control.
Second weigh your tongue. I guarantee your bars are too light. Blue Ox will exchange if the dealer won't.
Third, if the passenger side is harder to get off I'm guessing that where you park you are probably turned slightly to the right putting more pressure on that side. This can't always be avoided and that is where the comfortable breaker bar helps.
Fourth, you cant have too much power jack. My jack was under powered and would overload (clutch would slip) before it would lift enough. I bought a 4000lb rated jack and with the other changes I can just about unhook by hand.
