MrsTankgod82 wrote:
Hello all, DW here, as requested! I would like to set a few things straight. First of all honey, you are 31 and I am 29, not 28; normally not something women would like to admit to (being older) but I think it illustrates an important related point here. Secondly, when we bought the trailer *I* was the one who asked HIM if we were actually going to use it. In fact, I am the one who, upon looking at our particular camper at the dealership, suggested buying it after the one we wanted had been sold.
Now on to what his mother and I like to call the "poor (insert real name here) game"- we no longer fall for it (he's a middle child btw). This is where like most men, he doesn't tell the whole story to his friends when he vents, but rather leaves out some important info to make it sound like he's the victim and evvvvrybody is so mean to him. The first of which is that I am not entirely the one who shot down a camping trip right now. We didn't have a wknd free during the month, true, but he wanted to go on an every wknd fishing trip last month w/ the in laws and FIL said no, not me. This month, I/we have things already planned like my best friend's baby shower (which I couldn't miss b/c I already missed her wedding, which I was supposed to be IN!), going to the pumpkin patch before Halloween, etc. In addition, where hubby wants to go this month is quite literally a stone's throw away- and since I am the one who has to do all the prep, packing, etc (and btw, let me mention here that we (read- ME) have a new infant), I am not going to do all that work for something that close; I have already told him that if he wants to go to said place for those activities, we can certainly do that- by driving there, no camping necessary when our house is 20 mins away! Sorry, but camping is no fun when, as several other posters said, I just work the whole time before, during, and after- it's really not fun when it makes no sense.
I happen to like camping in an RV, I grew up doing it w/ my grandparents, and tent camping w/ my mother and family. He doesn't end up having to set up camp alone either, I always help, and I am perfectly capable of doing it w/out him at all if need be; as a matter of fact, I am the more experienced RV one b/c I grew up doing it. I am from Southern IL originally, and have been his Army Wife for abt a decade- we can handle dirt, poop, and whatever else just fine! (I also bait my own hooks!) Shopping is not something I do for fun (I happen to hate wasting money, my husband does not...), I shop for everyone else in the house, when I HAVE to. Because u know, schlepping two kids and a newborn all over creation, especially by myself in traffic, sounds like super fun to sane people doesn't it??
I have told my husband all this, he just didn't listen. He says he doesn't have time to help me pack and set up, and in fact I COULDN'T do it by myself even if I wanted to b/c until recently, he took the RV keys w/ him everywhere he went... So to those who suggested getting rid of me and keeping the RV: he doesn't want to do things that I like, like sewing or going to see the Nutcracker at Xmas, does that mean I should sell my tickets and sewing machine, or him? Neither he, my sewing machine, or the RV are going anywhere- we both like camping (and on most days, each other), end of story. There was never an ultimatum.
I have read all the replies before posting this (rather long) response so that I didn't miss addressing anything. But if I did skip something by accident, feel free to post here, as one of us will surely see it. And btw honey, other than Thanksgiving, all the weekends in NOV seem to be free...as long as the destination is less than 750 mi away and further than 50 mi away, b/c that won't even get us out of the city...
P.S. I have NEVER sent him to the couch, except for one time several yrs ago for something serious and completely unrelated (which he suggested himself and I simply agreed to while we decided if we were going to stay married or not, and which you can guess abt but I won't share private details abt here). He has CHOSEN several times recently to go to the couch, after getting mad abt things that were other than camping, and were stupid (sorry honey, but if I slept on the couch every time u left the toilet seat up, you'd say it was stupid too!) Therefore, u can guess that he has not actually been ripped a new one, at least not by me- u might ask his mother tho, she tends to get mad pretty often ;)
:B
I think you two are going to be just fine!
I'm especially impressed that your husband had the good grace to let you know about this thread and encourage you to come on and tell your side. In my opinion, the fact that he did so and that you feel free to speak so plainly says a lot more about the strength of your marriage than anything else that's been said here.
Best of luck to you both, and here's hoping future journeys will be fun for all concerned...
