By now, I think you've figured out that the "safest way" is, without question, I-17 to Exit #298 (Hwy 179).
rjxj gave you good boondocking info.
There is only one RV park in Sedona, that mentioned above, Rancho Sedona. Distant Drums is just off I-17 at exit #289, across the freeway from a casino. Dead Horse Ranch State Park in nearby Cottonwood is also a good alternative. And there are several other private RV parks in Cottonwood and Camp Verde.
Hwy 89A between Sedona and Cottonwood is a wide 4-lane highway, easy for RV with toad. I have driven my 33' motorhome with toad many times in and through Sedona, though I do not drive it Uptown (touristy area) and not through Oak Creek Canyon.
Roy Ken, I enjoyed reading your description of the town I've lived in for over 25 years :)
