Where is everybody?

profdant139 wrote:
bcbouy, that is an interesting observation about the flaming phenomenon. This forum (boondocking) actually contains much less of that than on some other discussion groups (which I will not name). But I have noticed that there are a few very angry and rude people (who I will not name), which is so puzzling -- I come to this website for entertainment (and also to learn something), not to squabble.

I just don't understand what is going on, or why someone would take the time to hassle someone they have never even met in the real world.

Is it possible for us -- the "non-flamers" -- to somehow create a culture of civility? Maybe by gently pointing out the difference between a respectful difference of opinion and a personal attack? Differences of opinion are more than just acceptable -- they are tremendously useful, when properly handled by the participants. For example, think of carefully-reasoned discussions of tires, or weight issues, or battery care. Those are very enlightening, but they are so often poisoned by acrimony and bickering. The flamers don't even realize that their harsh tone undermines their own credibility.

And the consequence of flaming is that newbies with good questions are deterred from posting, and also folks who have useful ideas to contribute sometimes don't. The discussion often deteriorates because no one is left to post, other than the most aggressive and hostile people.

A very thoughtful post. I have been on this forum for a long time. (don't be fooled by the new handle) I have been very busy in the last few months also. So returning here after my absence is at once a pleasure and a puzzle.

I think there are a number of reasons for this problem, some of which you touch on. And I often wrote that people are losing the ability to disagree civilly and many just see ANY disagreement as an "attack" or "Flaming". Many people just cannot tolerate to be disagreed with. Many want to live in echo chambers or "silos" of their own ideas and only want to hear from those who agree with them.

But your comments on "tone" should include this: The "Tone" of a posting often exists in the head or "the mental ear" of the Reader. This media, like email is famous for tone deafness. Often people completely mistake the tome of a post by reading it through the lens of their own prejudices/beliefs. this leads to many misunderstandings and eventual conflict.

I reread posts often in different "tones" in my head just to be sure I am not mistaking someones intent. Unfortunately many do not do this.

I think the biggest improvement would come if posters would not assume they are being attacked simply by being disagreed with. I also think that there are reasons beyond this discussion for the apparent low turnout you describe. Reasons that GSE really dont want discussed.

But I truly believe that if those that believe in civility and open discussion, sharing of ideas and lively debate will call out those that truly are flamers and self police a thread things will improve.