While all of us have lost loved ones in Vietnam {the boy I was to marry was in Vietnam} maybe this will help clarify my incorrect to you, use of the word "Happy" & take the a bit of the hurt out of your loss.
Memorial Day is an American holiday, observed on the last Monday of May, honoring the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military. Originally known as Decoration Day, it originated in the years following the Civil War and became an official federal holiday in 1971. Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades. Unofficially, it marks the beginning of the summer season.
So to me while I don't know anyone who would not bow a head or say a prayer for those lost, I will proudly wear my red white & blue and choose to participate in parades and gatherings and NO disrespect is or never was intended. Hugs, Di