Need help from experienced woodworker

Oak is an open grain hardwood. The first coat of an oil stain will pretty much determine the color. Additional coats will add some depth but not change the color much. A different colored stain may be required. Stains should always be tested in an obscured area. In my experience, trying to match a piece by staining is difficult.

When the manufacturer finished the wood, they sealed it. Surface sanding may give the appearance of bare wood, but it still might be sealed and not accept stain as readily. You might try treating it with a liquid paint remover. Then sand, and try again as mentioned in your other forum.