Super Cap USB Charging Recharging (?)

I was afraid this was a wild lithium chase right from the start. Thank you Mr. Wizard. I could limit current with a high-enough value resistor at the expense of eating cap charge wattage potential. But seeing those freakin' ridiculous ching-chong ads promising jumpstart wattage from a thirty-dollar wallet-size packet just gets my goat.

Maybe this heat is scrambling my brains. Maybe what I -should be- looking for is a top-notch car cigarette lighter charger. One that can support simultaneous 2-amp charges (4-5 amps total).