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How do you know when...

Anmacc2
Explorer
Explorer
DW and I are 56yo. Unfortunately DW was diagnosed at 15yo (yes, fifteen) and has some serious health issues, so we've been hitting our bucket list as fast as time and money allow for forty years. She has done remarkably well, has an awesome attitude, and it's been quite a ride!!! But time is taking its toll...

I've spoken with my HR department (same job 35yrs) and I can be very flexible with time and reduce my work time to 200days a year. DW is not in that position and would need to leave her job of 20yrs. to match my time off. Disability is not an option as she is a medical accountant and capable to do that.

If we could go to 65 we'd be fine, but honestly We don't think we have that much time. Our kids (all in their thirties) agree and are encouraging us to live it to the fullest now.

If we cut back now, we will go through our nest egg by 62 and then live on a fixed income of $4200 a month with cost of living adjustments for the rest of our lives.... If we shoot for 65 our nest egg would be in tact and our fixed income would be $8000 a month.

We're scared... It's a lot to consider.... I feel like the stakes are really high...
I don't know if I'm venting or seeking advice...
Me & Her since 1977
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42 REPLIES 42

TOMMY47
Explorer
Explorer
This may sound cold hearted, but It hasn't been addressed by anyone yet.
What is her life expectancy now? How many quality, active years are expected?
I think both need to be factored in.
If she only has 4 or 5 years expected, go for it now. If more, wait a while, 1 or 2 years. When she's gone, you probably can still work. Your expenses for one will be less than for 2. $4000/month seems adequate.
It also depends what your immediate plans are. If you want to take an around the world trip now, that will certainly deplete your savings. Maybe that needs to be re-thought? Just an opinion.

westernrvparkow
Explorer
Explorer
Grit dog wrote:
Only u know the details, but I understand what you're feeling.
Similar situation with my wife but we are younger, 2young kids still so chasing the dollar is not an option at all yet.
Financially we are fine now, well above avg but it still weighs on you how long either of you have left.

Aside from income and your nest egg whatever it is now, what about your estate?
You can borrow/spend a lot of $ against it and just won't have any estate later in life but debtors can't collect from the dead! Use it up. Plenty of people doing the same for far worse reasons.
Coming from someone who is debt free right now but saw the system in action when my sister drained my parents estate before mom passed away.
I can tell you that when creditors start calling your kids/executor after you're pushing Daisys, the kids can tell them to FO. Worst they can do is put a lien on what's left of your kids inherited it but they will settle for far less than owed since they'd rather have a dollar today than $5 when the liens may become collectable in the future.
When you borrow money or incur debt, you are morally, as well as legally, responsible for repaying those debts. If you borrow money you have no intention or ability to repay it is a form of stealing, plain and simple. Telling someone on the opposite side of a business transaction to "FO" is always wrong. They met their obligations when they loaned the money, and they are entitled to repayment under the terms of those loans. If that means collecting from the estate, that is their right and their responsibility. It is the obligation of the executors of that estate to make prompt payment from the assets of the estate, it is not within their power or rights to say "FO".

Grit_dog
Navigator
Navigator
Only u know the details, but I understand what you're feeling.
Similar situation with my wife but we are younger, 2young kids still so chasing the dollar is not an option at all yet.
Financially we are fine now, well above avg but it still weighs on you how long either of you have left.

Aside from income and your nest egg whatever it is now, what about your estate?
You can borrow/spend a lot of $ against it and just won't have any estate later in life but debtors can't collect from the dead! Use it up. Plenty of people doing the same for far worse reasons.
Coming from someone who is debt free right now but saw the system in action when my sister drained my parents estate before mom passed away.
I can tell you that when creditors start calling your kids/executor after you're pushing Daisys, the kids can tell them to FO. Worst they can do is put a lien on what's left of your kids inherited it but they will settle for far less than owed since they'd rather have a dollar today than $5 when the liens may become collectable in the future.
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Alabama_Jim
Explorer
Explorer
Take all the percautions you can, but live your life. Your children gave good advice. Go with God and peace be with you.

ol__yeller
Explorer II
Explorer II
Probably the biggest impediment to early retirement is health insurance. It is expensive prior to hitting age 65 and to be eligible for Medicare. My wife and I both have big medical issues too like your wife's, that are not conducive to longevity. I decided to retire at age 50 from my big stressful career job and then took several much less stressful part time jobs to keep our retirement nest egg intact and growing. We also shrunk our lifestyle to live within our means. We had no kids at home and health insurance wasn't an issue for us. We also began our RVing lifestyle at that same time.

Seven years later (age 57) I had a crippling, near fatal, heart attack that forced me into full retirement. Now, five years later we are still enjoying the fun of RVing and the blessings of grandchildren. My wife also pulled the plug and retired last year. Right now, our lives are being held up because we are now caring for her 89 year old mother who is in the last stages of her life. Once free, we are really hoping to do some extensive travelling to enjoy our RV and see this great wonderful country. If you have the means to do this now, I highly recommend it.
I am NOT a mechanic although I do play one in my garage!

OldFogie
Explorer
Explorer
Is it possible for her to do some of her work on the road? If she can that would allow you more time to travel while she still works.

If not, you still need to take the time to do what you want and can while you still can.
2007 Bounder 35E
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1999 Jeep Wrangler

Naio
Explorer II
Explorer II
One thing to consider: As you get older, you will need to pay people to do things that you can do for youself, now. Not just cleaning the gutters and fixing the car, but, later, even things like grocery shopping and laundry. You will akso have more out of pocket nedical expenses. The $4k/month will not go far when you are spending $3k of it on these things

I hope there is some way your wife can work remotely, and maybe part tine, as a wise poster suggested. That seems ideal.
3/4 timing in a DIY van conversion. Backroads, mountains, boondocking, sometimes big cities for a change of pace.

NYCgrrl
Explorer
Explorer
No advice from me as we all live our lives according to our own drumbeat. Simply hopes that your dilemma will be resolved to the best expectations of DW and you.

Mr_Beebo
Explorer
Explorer
My mother worked for the state for 27 years. She fudged her birth certificate and her driver's license so that when she retired at 78 (yes, 78) everyone at work thought she was 72. She did this because she had been poor her whole life and my dad died without any life insurance or pension. So she planned on getting the largest monthly retirement she could. She finally quit in October of 2004, and about the same time developed a degenerative heart condition and passed away in August of 2005. She basically worked an extra 13 years so she could make a few hundred dollars more per month for the last 11 months of her life.
There is more to life than money and buckets.
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D_E_Bishop
Explorer
Explorer
Long story as short as possible, at 43 yoa, we went to England, in the airport there was a group of five traveling together, one man and four women all I would guess in late 60's early 70's. The gentleman got up to go get something for the ladies and when he walked he sort of took tentative steps at first and then sped up.

DW and I decided that would not be us, travel while we could and money and jobs be dammed. Here we are today in our mid seventies and we've been to six continents, driven our MoHo to 49 states, been in all 50, visited 53 National Parks, untold other National locations.
Our bucket list is short, we'll never make Africa, I can no longer fly, I'll never get back to Hawaii, never get to take the DGK's all the places they need to see, may not get to see them graduate from college and get married, may never see them as parents.

We worked hard and traveled hard during our working years, I stayed with a lower paying job than most of our friends had but one that had a good vacation and retirement plan in order to travel. When we were forced to unionize, the one big benefit we got was the ability to retire early(abet with lower take home pay) I retired at 55, the DW three years later and we've been going full steam ahead, UNTIL, we realized that it had been forty years since we built our home and we had deferred all but emergency maintenance and repairs to our house. The last few years have been aimed at making sure the S&B was like new when the time came to hand the MoHo keys to the DGKs and watch TV.

We're not broke but we are slightly flatter in the wallet, we're fat and sassy for the most part and do not regret have the smallest home of all our friends and family, we don't have new cars, we don't have all the glit and glamor our peers seem to want, but we have our years and years of living the life we wanted.

When I retired on my 55th birthday, it was scary for a few weeks but planning our travels erased that, when asked if I missed that $2000 +/- dispensable income, I was able to say no, the only thing I really missed were my friends from work.

It isn't for everyone, but, it has worked for us. I'm worried about the MoHo, it isn't happy and I'm afraid it really needs retirement too. I'll be making repairs today and I'll be doing cosmetic work on it for the whole week of Sept. 13th while the DW is at quilt camp, then we're off for awhile, maybe to see some details of life in the Northern States west of the Mississippi.

So ask yourself, what do I want, money and a comfortable stay at home life or the wild and crazy life of highways and campgrounds.
"I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to go". R. L. Stevenson

David Bishop
2002 Winnebago Adventurer 32V
2009 GMC Canyon
Roadmaster 5000
BrakeBuddy Classic II

westernrvparkow
Explorer
Explorer
There is much more to this than a simple "play now or work until will die" choice. While it sounds good to spend your life savings and enjoy life, would you really enjoy it watching your nest egg rapidly diminish over the next few years? What if your wife's medical condition stabilizes or improves? What if a cure presents itself? Will those few years of playing and burning through your savings and investments look like such a good decision if you would need to live on your $4000 a month for the next 25 or 30 years? What if her medical condition deteriorates and you need that savings to give her comfortable full time care? What if in 10 or 15 years you need additional, costly care or have unexpected expenses? Having no savings with modest income does not leave you a lot of flexibility to deal with the curves life can throw you.
Your best bet may be to further explore her employment options. Maybe her talents can be used by another company on a similar 200 day schedule (remember, a full work year with two weeks vacation and normal holidays is only 240 days). Maybe faced with losing her completely, her current employer could work out some additional uncompensated time off.
There may not be a perfect answer, but at your ages undoing a major decision like quitting your careers completely would be difficult at best and likely close to impossible. Be absolutely clear on all the potential consequences before you make such a leap of faith.

dahkota
Explorer
Explorer
Medical Accountant sound like a job that can be done remotely. Has she asked her job if this is possible? Have you all looked into other medical accountant jobs that would allow her to work remotely?

Could she quit her job or go part time while you continue to work?

Do you all have 401s that could be accessed at 59.5? It might be a plan to wait until then and go.

We retired at 48. The last year and a half have been amazing and we wouldn't trade it for more money. We live better fulltime in our RV on $5K a month than we did in a s&b on twice that. And the memories are much much better.
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sdianel_-acct_c
Explorer
Explorer
I would go for it. I think you will be glad you did later on.
Lonny & Diane
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GaryWT
Explorer
Explorer
This is always a tough situation. For the most part my wife and I have done what we wanted through the years and tried to give the kids a good life. We ran up some bills but it is what it is. 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with incurable cancer at age 49 it was a huge blow. My wife asked what I wanted to do and I said I just want to camp more. We camp every weekend that we can. It is not great on the budget but the time we spend together is priceless. I am in remission now but I will never know when this will hit again. We are both working but we are getting our camping in, 2 weeks away from our first week long vacation in a year. Long story short, you got to do what you got to do, we tell the kids all we are leaving them are the bills...
ME '63, DW 64, (DS 89 tents on his own, DD 92 not so much), DS 95
2013 Premier Bullet 31 BHPR 2014 F350 Crew Cab 6.2L 3.73

dieharder
Explorer
Explorer
My main concern would be where you feel like you won't make it to 65. If you both sit down and honestly feel that way, then I don't see why that is even a part of your equation.

There are a number of questions you need to ask yourself. You say that, if you do what you want to do now, you'll use up the nest egg by 62 and will have live off $4200/month. But, if you take the next 6 years and do all the things you want to do, what would you do after the age of 62 that $50000+/year wouldn't be sufficient?

Yes, I'll agree... $8000/month if you stick with everything that way it is today for the next 9 years is an incredible number that would have you in an extremely comfortable situation for the rest of your life after that point, but if you've already resigned yourself to the fact that you won't make it there, it's not going to do you a lick of good.

But, seriously... don't take much advice from a bunch of us here on the internet. Have a good, honest talk with DW and then have a sit down with your banker and talk about it.
1999 Itasca Sunrise