Teaching Your Spouse How to Pull a Trailer

[SweetLou]

First let me say that this is really intended to find out your teaching methods for anyone, not just a spouse. Problem is there is a bit of sensitivity issues that get in the way with a spouse. I have a Subaru Outback with the CVT, and 4 cyl. The shifting paddles in manual mode is on the steering wheel. The trailer is enclosed and weighs about 500 lbs empty. Only going to load it to a combined total of 1,200lbs. The trailer is short, 4x6 and you cannot see it in the side mirrors while pulling which is not a bad thing. So, the question is, how do you go about teaching your wife how to pull a trailer and how to back it up with out ending up in a divorce?

[Vintage465]

My thought is to leave "backing" out the curriculum. If i needed my wife to pull a rig, it'd be going down a pretty dang straight road like Hwy 80 or Hwy 40. And for the most part in my case it'd only be if I was too tired to drive and we needed to make up time to be somewhere at some specific time. Easier with a Diesel tow vehicle too as there is no thought of shifting down or braking going up or down hills

[deltabravo]

valhalla360 wrote:
Not sure why a car with a CVT would have paddle shifters...

Subaru CVTs have "psuedo" shift points.

I down shift to maintain speed going down a hill where the speed limit goes from 45 to 35 on commute.
2013 Crosstrek with CVT that thinks it's a 5 speed.

[time2roll]

aftermath wrote:
We know of a couple who had a medical emergency while far from home. If it were me, she would HAVE to drive.

I have told her it is OK to just abandon the trailer if needed. Do what is needed.

[Blazing_Zippers]

52 years being married to the homecoming queen/head cheerleader. She is the greatest cook, cleaner, woman, spouse, and friend ever. Now that I've said that; teaching her certain things can be a challenge. As a spouse that values a good thing, we've found that she is pretty willing to try some things---like pulling our RV's. She has quietly watched me doing the "RV" thing, and has caught on pretty well.
Use calming instructions and let her know ahead of time what is going to happen or what's coming up. IF something bad happens, ya know---stuff happens!
The last camp trip, she pulled from the site, down the highway, into town, and into the dump station like a champ.
Oh, and the fact she is a better shot then me curtails my actions somewhat.

[mkirsch]

IMHO this is the BEST kind of rig to learn to tow on.

With a rig that small you can get to 99.9% of places without having to back up. The trailer is short and nimble behind the car. It will follow right behind in the car's tracks. She will forget it's there. If she gets into a pickle she can always unhook and push the trailer where it needs to be, then rehook.

Plenty of people tow trailers without being able to back up.

[2112]

the question is, how do you go about teaching your wife how to pull a trailer and how to back it up with out ending up in a divorce?

Most importantly, she has to want to learn.
Once my wife acknowledged she wanted to learn, I taught her over time while traveling. I would say out loud what I was thinking at the moment, such as "approaching right turn so setup wide left" and ask her to watch the trailer in the right side mirror while I make the turn to observe the tracking. "Notice how much room we need to miss that curb?" Whatever the situation was, I would just say what I'm thinking.

As far as backing up, we went to a large college parking lot. I did it a few times, again, just saying what I'm thinking. After doing that a few times she did it several times. Sure she screwed up, mostly over correcting, but I assured her she can't damage anything and tried to make it fun. I learned something here from watching her. With steering wheel straight and hand at 6 O'clock, you move your hand in the direction you want the rear of the trailer to go. While backing into the final approach, if you have to move your hand beyond 3 or 9 O'clock to correct your angle, stop, pull forward and try it again. Otherwise she would zig-zag her way back trying to get everything aligned.

[aftermath]

This is a good thread. My wife and I agree that it is pretty important that she knows how to pull the trailer. We know of a couple who had a medical emergency while far from home. If it were me, she would HAVE to drive. That said, I agree with the last couple posters. She does not like the idea of driving in small confined spaces and even now, backing up is not something she would do. So, I started by having her drive an hour or so at a time on the freeway. She caught on quickly and is actually a very good driver. Next was having her pull into a gas station. Pull wide, so slow and watch your mirrors. Again she is pretty good at that. If we have to get into town, I take over. That will be our next challenge. So, be supportive, go slow and don't do the mansplaining thing.

[Thermoguy]

If I shut up and let her drive, she does just fine. She probably has as many hours as I do behind the wheel, mostly large trailers. She drives our 5th wheel just fine, and can back it to. Her biggest problem is hooking it up and unhooking, but she can do it.

My advice, let he drive in an open space with low traffic. So, if you are on a trip and have a good stretch of open highway, that is a great way to get comfortable behind the wheel. If you have a good setup and the trailer pulls well, then a good highway where there isn't lots of lane changes, or stop and go, etc, is a great way to get comfortable. Once she is comfortable going, pulling on and off the roadway, then you can work on backing. If she helps you back a few times, then she will get the idea of what it takes to back. The biggest part is to take is slow - and be better than me and just shut up...

[APT]

I have towed trailers for 35 years. We have had current TT for 10y. My wife has towed our TT exactly once for about 3 hours on a long (15h) drive.
No need to push the topic if your spouse is not interested in learning. Let her help where the risk is low and value (AKA offloading your time) is high.

[JAC1982]

RobWNY wrote:

JAC1982 wrote:
Also from what I know about towing, a small utility trailer is pretty much the worst thing ever to back up 🙂

Almost but my vote goes to one of these behind a lawn tractor. Worst thing ever to back up.

With that you just unhook it and move it manually haha!

[ppine]

My girl is good driving my one ton Ford. With a little practice, she is good pulling a TT. When the roads get difficult, or we have to park it, she lets me drive. No problems.

[Cummins12V98]

BIG parking lot with a few cone.

[SweetLou]

I enjoyed most of these posts and took in some good advice. It will be a challenge for sure but I just wanted to find out how some of you were able to do this with your spouse. Good news is we are in a remote area and can do this with out issue. The test is with other cars around. Here we go!!!

[smarty]

Find a large gravel lot, get some cones, train away, never yell, if things get tense take a break, make it a fun experience