Tips for Traveling with Other Couples

[MissouriBird]

We are considering making our 3rd trip to Alaska in 2020 and long-time friends, (who don't currently own an RV) mentioned they might like to buy an RV and tag along. We have had a travel trailer and road tripped for 20 years.

We are excited by the opportunity to share some of our favorite places along the way with great friends. On the other hand, we want to be darn sure all of this togetherness doesn't strain a long time friendship.

Any tips from others who have made long road-trips with other couples? Too much togetherness can even be hard on a successful marriage---let along just good friends. We want to do this and still be great friends when we get home!

[Addy15]

We have enjoyed three big "adventure" trips with the same friend couple. Two were RV trips and one was a "fly-there-and-rent-a-condo-together" trip. All three trips went very well.

We each have our own trailers. On both our trailer trips, we have mostly stuck together when traveling and had agreed-upon campgrounds at each destination. We just communicate by text or phone while driving to say someone needs a rest stop or when should we stop for lunch and things like that. (Obviously it's the passengers who do the communicating and NOT the drivers!...) We usually have a list of options for the activities at each destination and we usually stick together as a group. However, if there is something they want to do and we'd like to do something else, we don't have a problem separating for awhile either. For example, a couple of weeks ago, they wanted to drive to see a lighthouse, but we felt kind of done being in the car. So, they went to see the lighthouse and we went on a bike ride. Met up back at the campground and had dinner and a campfire together that evening. You just have to realize that not everyone has the same priorities for activities and be flexible. Sometimes we eat together; sometimes not. We don't plan meals together; we prepare our food and they prepare theirs and we just eat at the same time at the same table. 🙂

We usually have a couple of trip planning meetings well ahead of the trip. One to decide on travel times; destinations; and the places we will stay. Then closer to the trip, we will meet again to plan the agenda for what activities we'd like to do in each location. Everyone gets to make suggestions based on research they have done or things they have heard about and then we make decisions, together.

We are already thinking about what we should do next summer... 🙂

[Veebyes]

Traveling with others on a boat is much more intense than doing a RV trip. There is no getting off & going for a walk on a boat unless marina hopping. Did a month long boat trip with good friends as guests on their boat. Ft Lauderdale to Georgetown in the Exumas. All on the hook nights. Still close friends however we are boaters too so familiar with the lifestyle.

RVs are much easier. Need some separation time? Go in your own & close the door or go for a walk.

[philh]

six couples on a houseboat trip... some great friends, other acquaintances.

After 6 nights

Trip organizer, was more of a drunk than I thought, and even tho owned a restaurant, I'll never ever eat in it.

One couple I didn't know well, OMFG, a control freak, if he didn't get his way, he complained to everybody

Another couple, who I thought I would hate, actually pretty sedate. They are close friends with the control freak.

Biggest surprise, the couple I thought were aloof, extremely observant, and we have become closer friends with.

Final couple, no real change. enjoyed their company, and they tended to keep to themselves.

I'll never do that again!

[bobsallyh]

I know we wouldn't do it, but we are very independent, making no reservations, quitting for the day when we want to. Maybe we will move tomorrow or not. One thing to remember, some folks need to be baby sat. We do know of two couples who did the Alaska deal with two couples who where friends. But the friendship after returning never was the same. When we did Alaska in 2014 there is no way we would have anyone tagging along. Just our opinion. And like another poster brought up, what about breakdowns?

[opnspaces]

My family has always done extended vacations together and definitely have learned a few things along the way. Most of those insights have already been touched on. but I'll add mine.

I am a very social person, I like people and I like to hang out with my friends. So I would be very happy to see my same friends at the end of the days drive, every time. You or your friends likes might be totally different though. Only you can tell what will work for you.

In the beginning we would caravan together. Picture three or four cars with 9 young kids distributed throughout. The trip would take hours longer than necessary to get to a destination because somebody always had to use the bathroom. Somebody was carsick. Or somebody wanted to eat here or there etc. We learned pretty quickly to just pick a destination for the day and everyone would just show up there when they did. Sure sometimes you wind up on the same stretch of road at the same time which is kind of cool. But we never try to stay together unless there is a reason to.

You definitely want to plan this beforehand.

I for one do not like traveling for hours behind another RV and I can't imagine too many people do like that. So I would offer up my wisdom as a long time RVer that we should all do our own morning routine which might include leaving at separate times. This will allow each of us to focus on enjoying the trip and the scenery and not being concerned that we are driving too fast or slow etc for your friends.

Do make sure to have the first one or two stops planned together. That way you can help your friends with leveling and setting up the RV and answer any RV related questions they might have.

Maybe after that suggest an adventure where each couple will go somewhere different for one or two days and then meet up on evening three to share stories.

[dedmiston]

We camp with other families all the time, but we don't "travel" with them. We pick a spot and get there when we get there.

I've always wondered about taking travel trips with them. I can envision some of the families being great travel partners and others being pretty rough.

How close are you with this other couple? And how open are you with them? Can you have a tough-love talk with them now during the planning phase?

[CA_Traveler]

Jayco-noslide wrote:
Tip 1- Don't. Just kidding, sort of. I think it's risky, especially if you're a little rigid and compulsive like us. We've done it twice with the same couple for several days. We are still friends but example problems: They had an old dog and took forever to get ready to hit the road and it would be "one more thing" just before leaving. They had a big 5th wheel and had to use a much longer approach to refueling, finding a site, etc. One day we needed to drive all day to reach an agreed upon campground and we finally left without them. Nearly ended our joint travels but I'd do it again.

Good example of what not to do - ie plan to travel in lock step.

[Jayco-noslide]

Tip 1- Don't. Just kidding, sort of. I think it's risky, especially if you're a little rigid and compulsive like us. We've done it twice with the same couple for several days. We are still friends but example problems: They had an old dog and took forever to get ready to hit the road and it would be "one more thing" just before leaving. They had a big 5th wheel and had to use a much longer approach to refueling, finding a site, etc. One day we needed to drive all day to reach an agreed upon campground and we finally left without them. Nearly ended our joint travels but I'd do it again.

[Tvov]

MissouriBird wrote:
....

Our friends have never owned any type of RV. They did take their grand kids to Black Hills, using a small tent and back of SUV, for about a week.
....

I've not been to Alaska, but I would recommend that they get some experience with an RV before doing a long trip like that. Maybe a season's worth of camping first? You guys could go on a couple of shorter trips to see if it will work?

[PartyOf_Five]

Beyond what's been said, I don't like a know-it-all, and I'm close to a few. I wouldn't want them telling me everything "I just have to see" so talk through their needs for you expertise, and your needs to share as well.

[patbac]

Are they going to break in their new RV first and learn its pros and cons? I wouldn't want to spend the whole trip explaining how everything works...

[MissouriBird]

Just the kind of insight I was looking for. We have traveled 13-15 weeks at a stretch--but always just us. We tend to be pretty independent.

Our friends have never owned any type of RV. They did take their grand kids to Black Hills, using a small tent and back of SUV, for about a week.

I agree, separate spaces will be a must with perhaps even a few times when we go separate ways for a few days and then meet back up and share experiences and photos.

There are some things that we can whole heartedly say---"Don't miss out on this or that"--but it doesn't mean we want to do it a second or third time. On the other hand, we can be a good resource as to what is available to do and see in any given area. We would be more than happy to make suggestions and recommendations---as we can always discover something else new to do on our "free" time.

We look forward to sharing some of our favorite spots, but we want each couple to feel free to say "No" to going out to eat, sharing a meal, or visiting a specific attraction with no explanations needed and no hurt feelings. To each their own.

More than anything else, I want to be sure we are still friends when we get home.

Thanks for your tips and keep sending other thoughts or experiences our way,.

[BarabooBob]

I can travel with my immediate family but very few other people. My daughters know that my wife and I get up early, have breakfast, and break camp by 8:00. We travelled for for two weeks together on a trip to the Rockies. One daughter could not wait to get home, the other one wants to go with us again. Even people that KNOW each other may not travel well together.

[DutchmenSport]

Few years ago we spent a weeks stay at a state park with the wife's parents who had their own travel trailer. We had campsites beside each other. Sad to say, my wife's mother ruled the roost! Everything had to go her way. The first couple days was nice. We went along with the flow. But by day 3, we were sick and tired of doing everything she wanted and tried to venture out on our own. Remember, the travel trailers were parked for a week.

Well, she started throwing hissey fits and became belligerent and nasty. As the week went on, and it was quite obvious we were no longer interested in sharing in the day trips with them, we needed to do our own "thing", he attitude worsened and worsened making life a living hell for everyone.

At the end of the week we parted way as we each drove back to our respective homes on our own routes and it was months before we had communication with her again.

If both parties in the arrangement understand it's OK to go your separate ways at any time, and even come back together again, then you'll probably do just fine. But if anyone is territorial and wants everything to go their way ... look out ... you'll all be unhappy. Set the ground rules right now, not after trip planning has started or after you've actually hit the road. Set the expectations right now, and your friends may just want to venture out on their own instead.