Sooner or later you will want a bigger truck/tow vehicle. Maybe now is the time as you are 'splitting hairs' on what works and what does not. And what you can tow with the Xterra might not be what you really want in a trailer. Why purchase what you might not want just because it can be towed by your existing vehicle? Find the RV you want and then get a tow vehicle for it.
For calculations, use 12-14 percent tongue weight including propane, battery, water, all your stuff and the trailer. You might need to distribute that weight within the trailer to get to that tongue percentage. Some weight behind the axle, some in front kind of thing. Scales and especially a tongue scale like the Sherline will help a lot on this.
As far as the need for a WDH, it all depends on how much weight is added to the rear axle of the Xterra and how well it handles it. You many not need any WDH, you may need one. Anderson makes a relatively light WDH with sway feature built in that you might look into.
I think you will be a lot less frustrated if you decide on the RV you want and then acquire the truck or tow vehicle for it.
Thanks,
What you pointed out was the exact reason I was considering R-Pod and Jayco. I should have mentioned this first. I was initially thinking about T@B after renting a T@G for a week for my trip to Big Bend (I wanted my kitchen inside, and this was the first step up from my initial candidate, T@G). Then I thought It would be nice to consider something bigger if my truck can handle. R-Pod and especially the Jayco are cheaper (probably $3,000-4,000 less than the T@B) and larger compared to the T@B, and I thought it would be nice to have some extra space. I looked at the weight of those two and started worrying about the hitch weight. I will be using it for weekend camping or maybe trip to somewhere far for about a week maximum, so I doubt I will have over 100lb of luggage including cookware/clothes. I am still considering the T@B because I like how it looks and how small it is.
If I had enough money for a bigger camper and TV (my Xterra is a 2015 model), I wouldn't be asking questions here. Plus, my driveway is not really big enough to keep anything longer than 20'. Well, it actually is, but I don't want to use up too much space.
Thanks for the info about Anderson WDH. I will look it up and see what my options are. Since my tongue capacity is related to the GVW, distributing the weight to the front axel does not really help with my capacity much.
I really appreciate your/everyone's information on this. It helps me a lot, and now I am sure I will not listen to what sales people tell me next time I go look at RV's.
Jiro