While downshifting may give you the same overall gear reduction as a lower gear ratio in the axles, it puts a lot more stress on the transmission to do that. Auto transmissions aren't getting much physically larger. The clutch plates still have similar surface area to what they had 30 years ago. Even if they were 100% bigger than they once were, all the heat from that gear reduction has to be dissipated over that surface area. I don't drive automatics, but if I did, I'd want to give them the best chance they could get at doing that job.
The driveshaft actually sees the most load/torque when taking off from a dead stop (torque peak of engine + max gear reduction). A driveshaft really doesn't care about what is downstream of it; its strength is a rating based on torque, of course over which there is a significant engineering factor, probably 2-3:1. Today's trucks have driveshafts that are MUCH stronger than trucks from 30 years ago. Just go to the parts store or catalog and look at the U-joints these days; they're very beefy.
I may be one to typically prefer overkill when it comes to this stuff, but when the weather is bad, the mountains are steep, etc., it certainly pays off to have more truck rather than barely enough. That doesn't mean everyone needs a 1 ton DRW to pull a pop up, but when trailers get in the 8k pound+ range, it's time for a heavy duty pickup, especially when lengths are long as well.