totalTotal weight of trailer is really easy. Get weight of just the tow vehicle. No nothing hooked up to hitch - trailer or hitch bars. When weighing the tow vehicle, make sure the gas tank just got filled and I like to weigh with just the driver. That way if you are really tight on the available payload, you can leave DW and kids at home if needed. You can always get DW and kids to weigh themselves and add it on later along with the weight of cargo items. (This is "pass #1)
Then take the TV with trailer and WDH bars hooked up to a scale and weigh the steer axle (front TV axle), drive axle (rear TV axle) and trailer axles all separately. (This is pass #2) Take the 3 weights and add them up. This gives you the total weight of TV + trailer. Then subtract the weight of the TV.
So far, you will thus have the weight of the TV and the total trailer weight.
Then off to the side of the scale, so as not to bother others going through, unhook the bars and put them into the TV. They'll weigh about 20-30 lbs. Then weigh all three axle sets again. (This is pass #3)
To get the tongue weight after this, take the weight of the steer and drive axles on the 3rd pass and add them together. Subtract the original TV weight from this figure. This number is the tongue weight. It is a combination of weight added to steer and drive axles.
The tongue weight is a constant number at this point (unless you change loading of TV or trailer). Take the total trailer weight that you obtained above and subtract the tongue weight. Now you have the weight that is on the trailer axles before the WDH bars are connected and the weight is transferred to the TV.
This is where you need to concentrate! Now you can calculate the weights transferred to steer axle, drive axle and trailer axles. The most important one is the weight you transfer to the steer axle. The rear of the truck will just settle to wherever it does. And whatever the weight transferred to the trailer axles is, you have little control over other than maybe changing the angle of the spring bars. To shift weight between the drive and steer axles is where you play with the number of links left over after hooking up. You may need to change the angle of the shank (and thus spring bars) to be able to get the number of links left over you want.
Sorry, but at this point, I have to run as I am at the cg clubhouse and a band has just started playing loudly. Perhaps someone else can carry on from here.
Hope this helps.