That's kinda like expecting someone to make fun of their own haircut. You just have to learn to read between the lines.
"FHUs plus cable and WIFI." Less than 10% of our sites have all five working at the same time.
"Convenient access to expressway." We're 200 feet from an expressway with heavy truck traffic 24/7/365.
"Playground and Pool." There's only 2 feet of green water in the pool, half a teeter totter and a swing set with broken seats.
"Dog park". The piles haven't been picked up in years. Its a mine field of doggie doo.
"RV supplies available in the office". 2 frayed 20A extension cords, some paper plates and cheap plastic forks.
"Nearby attractions". There's a biker bar two blocks away. Take a gun along.