Thanks for the replies...I was surprised to see 3 pages this morning ;-)
To clear up some points:
1. Granted I hate living with the parents at this late stage, they are not supporting me. We're just here. I support myself and always have. I have income, skills, nomadic skills - this is not going to be a real issue. I've been self employed for a decade already. I just reside with my parents and for someone like me who's always been fiercely independent, this is the fate worse than death. Include the fact it's in a state that's assbackwards and repressed, the feeling I'll die here (and living at my parents' place) is my worst nightmare.
2. I'm not "escaping" anything. This isn't an act of desperation. In y early 20s I went to an RV shop and tooled around checking them out, on a whim. I fell in love at first sight. I knew just being in these RVs and campers this was my ideal home...not my "dream home" as in fantasy but ideal home, the home that suits who I even am.
I've been living a nomadic lifestyle anyway since I was mid 20s. My family and friends are used to it for the most part but still give me enormous drama anyway because it's usually nothing for me to start accumulating "stuff" and then after 6 months or a year dump it all and hit the road, move somewhere else. I do not mind a few places for the long term but the idea of being committed to one place indefinitely makes me feel like I'm drowning. Being around people who do the same thing day in and day out and call that living make me feel suffocated. Being in relationships with people (guys/romantic/sex included) who are "rooted in" never last for me, I always end them because I get revved up like the Tasmanian Devil ready to go "somewhere" else. When they ask where I think I'm going to go my answer is usually "Don't know...won't know til I get there" - I don't really have a specific location. It's a general, broad destination and as long as it doesn't suck I'll stay there. Eventually when its novelty wears off, I'll go elsewhere.
The people around me - family and friends - get on me because of how much money I've "wasted" buying a house full of stuff only to unload it every other year. It doesn't bother me. It bothers them. I've kept smaller things that truly matter to me, books until I migrated to Kindles, and finally reduced my shoe intake. Though now I have about 15 pair, truth be told I wear either house slippers or little sandles (summer) boots (winter). I keep my heels in case I go somewhere I need to dress formal. Usually I don't.
3. Again, I already homeschool. We've done this for years. It's a non issue.
4. My son at this point, being where we are, literally has no friends. When we came here in particular, we moved to a different state from where we were. He keeps in regular contact online which is why an internet connection/electricity is a requirement, or accessible on a frequent basis. He's not being pulled away from anyone at this point. I am seeking more outlets for teenagers who are full time RVers and find things for him to do. My biggest anxiety about it is knowing he'll be wanting to hook up with girls and having no outlets, yet as a mother and hi being 16, I'm cool with it - but he won't be for long and he'll start giving me grief about it when his hormones really bust out on him. I'll deal with it but I don't want to deprive him of that sort of thing (or me either for that matter since I'm not done yet!). I've asked if he wanted to stay with the grandparents if I go full time RV and he's said no.
I know he'll go along and won't hate me...just not sure how long that'll last and whether I am depriving him or not. For ME it works. No issue on my end. I was concerned if doing this at all is really hurting him and I just don't see it but all these issues have easy solutions. I'm concerned that what if they're all an illusion and once we're doing it, he'll end up hating me over it.
BUT he's been "dragged" around through all the repercussion of the divorce that sent his world and stability (the 3 bedroom upper middle class nice neighborhood, dogs, cat, friends kind) into a tailspin. He has never complained. I've never seen him cry over it. He doesn't protest. He just rolls with it. For 3 years it's seemed he's pretty strong or doesn't care like I think - he's not traumatized at all and I'm just paranoid, OR he's shoving it all down and one day he'll just blow a gasket. But he still seems to be taking it all in stride, like a trooper. He doesn't complain about it. He doesn't need to talk and when I think he's repressing and try to get him talking he looks at me like I fell out of a tree and insists he's perfectly fine, none of it is bothering him, it's bothering me more...and he's fine where we go as long as we're not broke and on the street.
I guess I'm not sure if I trust that as an answer because it's so....nomadically sound! When we've traveled, as long as I stop periodically to explore, he truly loves that. He gets frustrated when it's cut short so we can get back on the road. I think the biggest issue he has that's caused him to protest is we don't stop long enough to really smell the flowers.
We stopped at the Verde River in Cottonwood...he loved Cottonwood and wanted to take the train ride but we have a cat and I had no idea what to do with a cat. He was bummed out. But not enough to give the cat to someone else.
So the deal is this - I'm getting ready to move out of here once and for all. The choice is usually made - find an apartment or rental somewhere. Start over. The money isn't the problem. It's the residence now. Do we find an apartment? A rental house?
OR do I take this opportunity while we're already in the "houseless, homeless nomadic" foundation and go ahead with the RV transition to full time right off the bat, taking our "stuff" with us wherever. And having a place to live until we decide it's time for an apartment or house. I'm pulled to just go for it but I'm colored by the anxieties as mentioned through this - did they get in my head or is this reasonable anxiety?
My son is telling me he's okay with it. He's not enthusiastic about full time RV because he really doesn't know what it entails and he sees living in a car as a house..but the travel, the different places, the living out of a suitcase, he's kind of used to that in a way from the last 3 years. He just doesn't want to be in a shelter somewhere like a homeless person - that is his fear. He does trust me I won't let that happen.
My anxiety here is that they got in my head and when I say full time RVing will be good for him, he'll realize this is an ideal solution for the lifestyle we've adapted to over the last few years already, that I'll know exactly where my teenager is at all times and what he won't be doing (drinking, drugs, running the roads, hanging with vandals, etc), and once we're mobile and exploring he'll be enthralled and get into it, enjoy meeting a lot of people, learning to drive an RV and being able to - that these things are unrealistic and he's "supposed to" be in a house somewhere with a brick and mortar school and doing teenager stuff like dances and football.
Okay...I think I figured this out. They did exactly this same thing when I sprung homeschooling on them. They pretty much decided I'd lost my mind. It's the same thing really. These are people who are rooted in so obviously they're not going to see this RV full time as anything but psychotic!
I think the reason I joined here is to hear your stories and see if you guys experienced these same anxieties so I can see realistically whether mine are just normal and will pass once I make the decision or if they are legit and maybe this will destroy my relationship with my son and I really just don't see it.
Also, I'm not clinically depressed. I'm depressed when I feel stuck, caged, locked in. That sends me down every time. Long as I'm moving, I'm peachy. I can stop when I want to stop but only if I'm the one choosing it. If I have to stop for someone else, I'll make the sacrifice but it usually does a number on me til I can't take it anymore and just have to go. ;-)
Thanks for the replies. I spent most of last night watching all of Nomadic Fanatic's videos from a link from here. I'm so ready to full time RV now it's not funny!
