Role of grand parents.

NYCgrrl wrote:
I don't feel sorry for how another chooses to spend or not spend time with their descendants as described in this thread.
We are all different people and have our own needs.

I've actually been heartened and inspired by reading the thoughts of many.

X2

We fulltime. :)

We have 3 grandchildren. :B

Preparing to go fulltiming 12 years before we took the step. :h

Our children know this was a dream of ours and would be disappointed if we were to vary from it. :W

We are constantly in touch with one another and see one another whenever possible. They use some of our locations as a holiday destination and visit. I read bedtime stories to my grandchildren via Skype on a regular basis. :D

They know where the moving branch of "The Bank of Mom & Dad" is at any given notice. :S

This is not for everybody but it works for our family. :C

What works for you and yours is the best for you and yours. :B

darsben wrote:
You did your time. Be the grandparents that visit occasionally.

X2, don't interfere with their schedule.

I don't feel sorry for how another chooses to spend or not spend time with their descendants as described in this thread.
We are all different people and have our own needs.

I've actually been heartened and inspired by reading the thoughts of many.

I could say I feel sorry (but I'm not)for the folks who stick around the family all the time and give up the freedom they would have on the road and stay in touch via Facebook, post cards, telephone, letters, Skype, etc... One son is moving to New Jersey soon, and the other for now is in Indiana, but wants to move West. We have great kids and wonderful grandkids who are proud of us for what we do just as much as we are proud of them for what they do. If hanging with family all the time is your thing, by all means do it! Don't feel sorry for the rest of us; and if you get the urge to travel, don't let the kids be an anchor.

We fulltimed several years before we settled permanently here in Mexico. The grandkids all saw us summers (Minnesota). Now we're only able to go there about once a year. Just one of the kids keeps in close touch (Skypes every week with the little ones), and we get most of our updates on the other kids through Facebook. None of them have ever visited here.

Yes, agreed, this is a sad thread.

This post hits home for me. My parents were always involved with the kids even when we lived over 100 miles from each other. Often my dad would call and see if they could have the kids for the weekend. They even took them on a Disney Cruise and no parents were allowed. My in laws on the other hand lived 2 miles away and couldn't be bothered to see the grandkids. Both were retired, so that wasn't it. My daughter even asked grandma why she didn't buy her birthday presents two years in a row. No real good answer.

Well, last year my dad and my mother-in-law died 5 weeks apart. Both of my kids talk about grandpa and how much they miss him and spending time with him. DD even wrote an essay for school about how she cherishes his memory. Rarely do they mention grandma and I don't think either one of my kids cried at her funeral. She chose not to be involved with their lives.

IMHO hit the road, but don't forget to spend time with your grandkids. You don't realize how much they enjoy being with you even if it is just camping or playing board games. Priceless memories to them. Call or Skype they love to hear your voice and by all means don't forget their birthdays. It hurts them.

2gypsies wrote:

rickeoni wrote:
I We never stopped having family camping trips, and now that they are married and have a life of their own we still plan a yearly family camping weekend once a year. We see all of our kids at least twice a week each.

I feel sorry for those that look at it any other way.

You certainly don't have to feel sorry for us, our kids or our grandkids. We're all happy with how we do it. Everyone is surely different and that's just fine.

We don't see them 2x/week as you do but then, we didn't do that before full-timing either - not even once a week and sometimes not even once a month. :) They have their lives and we have ours. They have their friends, activities, kids' sports practices, etc. I, personally, would not impose on them so often. They need breathing time, too. We, also, have our friends and activities. Our life does not revolve around our kids and their lives don't either. That's a healthy way to do it. Independence is good for the mind..and the body.

As far as your yearly weekend camp trip, that's great. We do that also but we also do it more than once a year and many times a lot more than a weekend. Like I said, everyone is different.

Also, what would you do if they got jobs away from you? Millions of people are in that spot.

Never said that I was imposing on them, most of the time they come to our house.

As far as jobs taking them away, might happen one day but hasn't yet hopefully never will.

I fully agree that everyones situation is different but family is family and we should never feel like getting together is an imposition.

That's my opinion and I am sticking to it.

I agree to what many more have already said, every family has a different situation and approaches these type of issues differently. We have 5 grown children and 11 grandchildren. We try to spend 3 or 4 months at a CG in our home area so we can be with family. But when we are stationary in Florida for 4 months the DW flies home for a visit. We love our lifestyle and traveling but miss the family.

As 2gypsies ---- said "Also, what would you do if they got jobs away from you? Millions of people are in that spot."


This is not unusual at all. We have 4 children that are all grown and 7 Grandkids, 3 of the 4 children live more than 800 miles from us. The reason is for better jobs and career advancements. One of them lives about 15 minutes away but they are on military orders and will be moving overseas or at least 2800 miles away within the next year. So not seeing the grandkids every week is going to be the norm. We have the technology to talk/video with them and in a couple of years (retirement) the RV to go visit a week or so. As the grandkids have gotten older they have moved on also and don't want to spend all thier time with the old people (us). And as they get a little older, marry and move to different places that is going to make staying together alot harder.... so life goes on............

There is no right or wrong on this one because the situation is different for everyone. We have 5 grandchildren and are quite involved with them while we are home. But come wintertime they all know we are headed to a warmer climate and will be gone for months. We also take several smaller trips during the rest of the year. We cherish the time we have with them but we need "our" time too and we really do believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I believe in giving them the space to be themselves but be supportive when needed.