Have you verified that the switch for the solenoid is turning off properly and not sticking? It should be a momentary switch—only on for as long as you push one end or the other, and off in the middle. The solenoid switch itself is latching so doesn't need continuous control current to stay on or off. If the coil is continuously being engaged, it would get quite hot and possibly burn out.
If the control power is not sticking on, check that the switched (large) wires and connectors are solid and clean; a relatively high resistance connection at one of would cause heating of the wire and the solenoid contacts etc.
As for an alternate control method, you could replace the solenoid with a manual battery disconnect switch with an appropriate current rating, possibly at the battery itself if the solenoid is not handily accessible. Such disconnect switches are available from e.g. auto parts stores or marine supply places like West Marine. Look carefully at the continuous ratings; many tend to show higher ("starting") current ratings rather prominently, but that's less applicable to the house battery in an RV.