Welcome to the RV community. Its not difficult to manage your tanks really and you will get the hang of it as you get more experience camping. Everyone always thinks of the Robin Williams movie when it comes to emptying the tanks... makes for funny movie stuff but not hardly reality. Even as a newbie myself I have never had an "accident" while dumping. The problem I do have is with the wife using too much paper and causing a paper plug so the tank won't drain. Just make sure you have a full tank, or close to full, before you dump. Hydraulic back pressure (a full tank) usually will clear the paper plug after a few tries.
As others have said, use lots of water when you flush, we do a 5 second count for flushing. Also, get a clear fitting to put on the tank stub first and then attach the hose. Sounds funny to watch your "stuff" come out of the tank but its important to see if the water is running clear after you dump the solids. The last thing you want to deal with is the dreaded poop pyramid, caused by not using enough water when flushing.
Pilot/Flying J's have dump stations, some states have stations at their rest areas for FREE, lots of campgrounds will let you dump for a fee. Oh yeah, look up the "geo method" for your tanks.