Towing Ford Flex

Have a 2008 Four Winds Chauteau and until recently towed a 2002 Saturn. Husband decided it was too hard to get out of so have set up our Ford Flex with a ready brute tow bar with surge brake. (. We had used it several years ago on another vehicle) the Saturn had a totally different set up. The Flex sets up much higher so ordered a 4 inch raised hitch, exstended, because of the way the back of the motor home is made. Even with the extended hitch it wouldn't fit and had to buy an extension hitch. Put it all together today just to test it out. Pulled our car easily and surge brake worked perfectly . Still have some concerns as it seems to have some sway to it. Plan to reorder another raised hitch and get shorter one. Also going to work on tightening where pins hook it together. Maybe bolting it. Looking at it in the rear view monitor it just looks so different from our Saturn hook up(. Had bar across front of grill, so no play at all). This could be normal. Hitch height is even, wonder if it will change when loaded. Lots of Rambling thoughts, any input would be greatly appreciated.