Last weekend my partner and I camped at our local KOA just for a getaway from the house. We hAave camped there several times, alone and with friends and we love the peacefulness of this particular KOA. This past weekend my partner and I drove up separately, they comming ahead of me and setting up the camper. When I arrived I noticed a man sitting in my chair talking to my partner. When I approached I realized it was the same guy who last time we camped invaded our campsite, hung around and wouldnt leave. Apparently he travels with his elderly parents which were camping this weekend and he is Mentally disabled to a degree. Last time we and our friends tried to be nice to him but he just wouldnt leave our campsite, except to go to his parents rv to eat ect. This weekend he again made his presence unwelcomed and I was almost to the point of approaching management about it or his parents. He I am guessing is about late twenties, early thirties. He would take my chair when I got up to go into the camper for something and just sat there as I stood (and Im disabled). He is not incapable of understanding what you say or follow a conversation but seems like he has trouble with social skills. What do you do in this situation when you want to have privacy when your camping and someone wanders into your campsite and wont seem to leave?

well, I think you have to treat this young man like a 10 or 12 year old kid.when he takes your chair and doesn't give it back, you must tell him that your legs or feet or whatever hurts when you stand too long and he needs to get up and let you sit down again. when he overstays his welcome, you must simply tell him that it's time for him to leave now... but he can come back tomorrow or day after tomorrow or whatever. If courteous but direct talk doesn't sink in, you will have to tell his parents.. and after that, the park manager. It isn't fair to you or your friends to be expected to entertain a stranger just because the stranger doesn't understand socially polite rules of behavior.

that is one of the reason's we always bring a few extra chairs.

TexasShadow wrote:well, I think you have to treat this young man like a 10 or 12 year old kid.when he takes your chair and doesn't give it back, you must tell him that your legs or feet or whatever hurts when you stand too long and he needs to get up and let you sit down again. when he overstays his welcome, you must simply tell him that it's time for him to leave now... but he can come back tomorrow or day after tomorrow or whatever. If courteous but direct talk doesn't sink in, you will have to tell his parents.. and after that, the park manager. It isn't fair to you or your friends to be expected to entertain a stranger just because the stranger doesn't understand socially polite rules of behavior.That is a exactly what you need to do.......well said.Some folks just need 'direct' instructions/requestsOver the past 6 yrs. traveling we have only encountered two situations with 'uninvited' guest.First time we were sitting out with our dog under awning slipping drinks when a guy with a small ankle biter just walked up and sat down at table.His dog snarled and ours approached.....knowing no good was going to come from this I got between them and his dog bit me.Time to go and no you are not welcome back.Other event occurred at 11pm in a COE CG when somebody knocked on the window of the roadside slide out.Out the door I and dog went........no body to be found :H15 mins. later a knock on door.Opened door with dog in lead.......dude jumped back and in a stutter asked "Do you know what time it is?"Yep......my dogs bedtime. He left.

TexasShadow wrote:well, I think you have to treat this young man like a 10 or 12 year old kid.when he takes your chair and doesn't give it back, you must tell him that your legs or feet or whatever hurts when you stand too long and he needs to get up and let you sit down again. when he overstays his welcome, you must simply tell him that it's time for him to leave now... but he can come back tomorrow or day after tomorrow or whatever. If courteous but direct talk doesn't sink in, you will have to tell his parents.. and after that, the park manager. It isn't fair to you or your friends to be expected to entertain a stranger just because the stranger doesn't understand socially polite rules of behavior.Nicely stated. It's unfortunate and can be unpleasant to have to be direct and blunt (at least for me, it is), but there are times that it's required.

Unwanted guests, lets hear your story.... | Good Sam Community

GrumpyGator
Explorer
May 19, 2013
korbe wrote:
that is one of the reason's we always bring a few extra chairs.

That is one of the reasons I don't bring extra chairs. :R
ependydad
Explorer
May 20, 2013
Chock Full o' Nuts wrote:
ependydad wrote:
TexasShadow wrote:
well, I think you have to treat this young man like a 10 or 12 year old kid.
when he takes your chair and doesn't give it back, you must tell him that your legs or feet or whatever hurts when you stand too long and he needs to get up and let you sit down again.
when he overstays his welcome, you must simply tell him that it's time for him to leave now... but he can come back tomorrow or day after tomorrow or whatever.
If courteous but direct talk doesn't sink in, you will have to tell his parents.. and after that, the park manager. Y
It isn't fair to you or your friends to be expected to entertain a stranger just because the stranger doesn't understand socially polite rules of behavior.

Nicely stated. It's unfortunate and can be unpleasant to have to be direct and blunt (at least for me, it is), but there are times that it's required.

It doesn't need to be unpleasant. I work with children and adults who have autism. They often struggle with social cues so they don't realize when they're being a pest, I find that if I just tell them directly they do not take offense. They really do want to fit inso they have to be told. People with autism are very attached to "the rules", so being direct with them plays right into their rule-seeking mindset. As long as you don't act to humiliate them, but just speak calmly they probably will just get up and move on. One thing about it--you can't be namby-pamby about it. No dropping hints. You need to just come right out with it.

Thanks for the comments. I guess the "unpleasant"-ness is more my own personal issue with having to tell someone "no". :)

But, very helpful. I'll keep this in mind.
Deb_and_Ed_M
Explorer II
May 20, 2013
Some people/kids just don't have the ability to be intuitive about things, like sitting in a chair that belongs to someone else. Likewise - they will not find it offensive if you simply say "hey X, I have a sore foot and need my chair" and say it in a firm-but-friendly tone.
Chock_Full_o__N
Explorer
May 20, 2013
jamesu wrote:
I am a retired Special Education teacher...worked with guys like the one who began this thread for many years. If he seems a bit "off" he is, and it's not his fault. I worked hard teaching "social cues", manners, etc., and we reinforced these day after day, because they were forgotten day after day...some stuck, some didn't. If this guy is mildly retarded and now an adult he may or may not be getting continued social skills training if he is fortunate enough to be working in a shelter workshop.

In a positive way you need to be direct with folks like this or you WILL be taken advantage of, because he's just trying to be friendly, and probably means you no harm. "This is our family time/our dinner time/etc., and you need to leave now." If he complies, great. If he does not, or if things escalate then or in the future, then you need to start working higher up the chain of command.

Too bad we need to sometimes deal with "stuff" like while out camping, but I'd much rather deal with this guy than a bunch of obnoxious campers drinking too much beer a campsite or two down the way.

Where is my "bowing before your awesome-ness" smiley? My youngest DS18 is severely mentally handicapped and autistic. He has be privileged to have many really great teachers in his life. They have helped us potty train DS, taught him to feed himself, helped him learn to clap to music, play simple games on a computer, and participate in story time. And they have been doing it over and over and over for 15 years. DS functions on the level of a 1yr old so obviously, we don't let him wander around by himself. He's a sweetheart, but he needs constant supervision and assistance with everything. If not for his wonderful teachers and assistants, I would have completely lost my mind. I don't know how you do it and my hat's off to you for making it your life work. God bless you in retirement--you've earned it!
jamesu
Explorer
May 22, 2013
Chock Full o' Nuts, sent you a PM.
noe-place
Explorer
May 23, 2013
Treat him the way he treats you. If he acts 12 treat him like it, if he is rude, correct him. If he doesn't leave in a timely manner, send him packing. :R
solismaris
Explorer
May 23, 2013
Yes, I had one of those. I think he was moderately autistic so I gave him some slack.

But he has so annoying, and just wouldn't leave. (Autistics tend not to perceive social cues about when they are being boring, or unwanted, or inappropriate, etc.)

First he started to tell me why I shouldn't read a paper book because Kindles are so much better. I indulged him with a thoughtful reasoned answer, smiled and went politely back to my reading. But he just stands there, grunting. Then moves on to what's the book about, etc. My answers got shorter and shorter, but he wouldn't take the hints. This went on for several minutes and I try to ignore him and enjoy my book. But still he persists.

I couldn't be too rude because I know he was challenged and was really making an effort. (And I think I spotted his guardian in the distance, keeping an eye on things, and who probably encouraged him to talk to people.) So I tried to be friendly at first. But it got annoying fast!
PuneetA4
Explorer
May 30, 2013
sometimes it became very difficult to manage the guests..

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