I agree, water is your friend. We are on a permanent site and leave our Grey Tank valves open all the time. The black tanks are closed all the time except to dump. Our main black tank fills up about once a week. The half bath in the bunkhouse can go 2 or 3 weeks before emptying.
When I empty the tanks, I rinse them multiple times. Generally, after the initial dump, I close the valve and use the in-tank rinse to fill it back up again. We have relatively low pressure at our site, so I let it fill up for at least 10 minutes. That puts about 30 - 40 gallons in the tank. Then I dump it. Rinse and repeat.
Our gauges usually work all the time. Even if they aren't working properly, I just wait until the toilet burbs when flushing to tell me it is time to dump. When the tank level gets above the vent line, it will burp when flushing the toilet. I dump after the first burp.
-Michael