Using an automotive battery charger when onboard fails

Lemme get to a Harbor Freight Store and a decal maker.

M.I.T. brand Horizontalator Charger that imparts a polarized magnetic interface that is absorbed like a miracle into the battery. it's STUNNING. It delivers more amps exiting than incoming. Red Green And Yellow Brainiac lights that you can see from a distance.

(I cannot go on, someone will ask where they can buy one. Oh my gut muscles)