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Anmacc2's avatar
Anmacc2
Explorer
Mar 24, 2016

DW and backing up

DW has been towing trailers (boat, TT, utility) for nearly forty years. She is an excellent driver and has towed tens of thousands of miles across the USA and Canada in every terrain and weather condition. Does not back up. Not ever. No way. Is ingenious at working it out that she never needs to. Well we (I) decided that it was time... So we spent several hours over several days practicing and low and behold it just ain't gonna happen! DW summed up the whole experience with statements like, "it makes no sense to me." Or "It goes against the laws of physics and nature" or "Its a tow vehicle not a push vehicle and have no control over where the trailer goes when it decides to take the lead position." Or "I don't drive forward with my eyes closed so why would I drive backward when I can't see what's behind me." I reminded her we have a back up camera and she responded with, "I don't trust that." I offered to spot her and she said she doesn't trust me either. I cajoled, I implored, I bribed, I used logical argument (that was just stupid). Telling this story to our youngest son who borrows the TT all the time thinking he would support me and he responds, "I never back up either." :h :h :h I asked him how he gets the TT back in my yard and he tells me he has his brother do it. I said older son never borrows the TT and he says, "yeah... He doesn't like to drive it forward." :S "What's gonna happen when I'm gone?" I asked. "What do you care? You're not gonna be here anyway." :R
  • naturist wrote:
    .......Insists on standing where I can't see her, and should I by chance catch sight of her, she's waving her arms all over in ways I didn't know they could wave and that make no sense........

    My famous loud quote while backing up, "If you can't see at least one of my mirrors, there's a good chance I can't see you either!" :)
  • Community Alumni's avatar
    Community Alumni
    My wife will only back the trailer if it's dead straight and only if it has to move a few feet lol. She's pretty good a lining the truck up to the trailer for hookups though. I'd imagine that she would be good at backing the trailer, but she doesn't want any part in it. She's an excellent and cautious spotter. She's very observant which is very handy when spotting. She says that's her job and my job is to get the trailer where it needs to be lol.
  • I do ALL the driving of our 40' DP, but DH backs it into campsites. I'm not afraid to do it and I could if I wanted to. Since he doesn't drive, he gets to do something. He says it's because I give better directions when he is backing. I don't yell, I don't get upset, but I can direct and squeeze him into a space few could get into. When he gives directions, it's quite the opposite. We both have our strong points. We capitalize on them.

    He can drive and is quite capable, but has a heart problem and prefers not to. I love to drive so it all works for us.

    Dale
  • mine wont even consider driving any direction with anything in tow. I know better than to push the issue.

    she wouldn't even tow my 8 foot utility trailer with nothing more than a few hundred poinds of lawn furniture when we moved so I had to tow it behind the **** 26' uhaul that should have been taken out of service a few zillion miles ago when we moved
  • jfkmk wrote:
    At least your DW tows the tt forward! My wife refuses to tow the camper at all. Loves camping, just won't drive with anything attached to the hitch.


    Ditto my wife. But she can't back the car even with no trailer. Drives forward, no problem. Backward is a disaster. Can't spot to save her life. Insists on standing where I can't see her, and should I by chance catch sight of her, she's waving her arms all over in ways I didn't know they could wave and that make no sense. And that's in spite of every attempt to say "stand HERE, just point in the direction the back end has to go." Lasts maybe 5 seconds and she's back directly behind and waving incoherently. Backing up herself, without trailer? She can barely manage to back out of a parking place. Ask her to back more than a car length and fenders are at serious risk. Her dad taught her to drive, and drove him nuts. He had to make her gloves with a huge "L" and "R" on the backs, and he took her out to a gravel county road nobody ever used but wide to try to back for miles. She used the entire width and needed hours to go a mile. When I first met him, the first words out of his mouth were "don't let her back your car."
  • In 7 years of camping my wife has driven forward once. On a stretch of US 90 that is straight as a rail for about 8 miles. That was it. I am the driver. We tried to get her to back it up into the spot in the yard....10 minutes later I did it and we have a large yard.

    Be glad she drives! Like others above, I love to drive, but it would be nice to have someone else for a spell.
  • So....one day several years ago...I had a few too many ultra cokes...my mouth began flowing like the whiskey...I needed ice and I called out to my wife who as working in the kitchen as Mennonite women do....she brought the ice, and proceeded to sit at the poker game...with about 40 dollars in the pot, I have nothing in my hand , but a great poker strategy couple with a face that said royal flush....wife blurts out..."why are you betting so much, your cards aren't even pairs".... Called, lost...I said "back to kitchen farm girl! Know your place!" We laughed and giggled..it was all over.

    Couple years later we develop what today is an amazing trailer backing system with her as a spotter...honestly, it's stunning to watch...

    Several years of a 100 or more nights on the road, I back up (with her spotting) as well as a drive forwards.

    Several years later we learned to communicate with esp

    Several years later, I said, "lovely treasured wife, would you mind driving today ?"

    She said..." Shut up farm boy, know your place"

    Be happy yours drives forwards.

    :)
  • I agree. I'm the only one that pulls the trailer while everyone else sits there on their phone, tablet, etc. I'm about to drive to Florida tonight from Michigan. I like to drive but once in awhile, it would be nice to have a little help. My daughter just got her license but no way she's pulling a trailer, yet.
  • At least your DW tows the tt forward! My wife refuses to tow the camper at all. Loves camping, just won't drive with anything attached to the hitch.