1. You’re looking for unobtanium.
2. An empty cargo trailer is about the only thing that’s going to fit your weight requirements.
3. You are now considering a 50ish year old “vintage” camper? May as well put a 5 gal bucket, a cot, a deep cycle battery and a jug of water in a cargo trailer. Far Less trouble and about the same amenities.
4. Your 2k limit on the car is likely only hitch related since the rest of the car/suv whatever you call it is big and powerful enough to handle more than that with ease.
5. You’ll drive “around” the mountains? lol. This is turning into a real stretch.
6. You’ll continue to just spin in circles like you are unless you change your parameters.
Good luck.
