I need 3 rows of seats and more towing power....

I do know that modern oils are very good at handling heat. You don't want to run 240* all the time, but spikes into the 240, 250, even 260 with a quality synthetic isn't going to kill it.

220 oil temps while towing are not out of line. I've seen 235 spikes with my cummins about 5k below it's tow rating, 200-220 nominal. Water temps usually 5-10 less.