A smaller SUV will certainly limit what you can tow, so you will want to be careful on that. In my opinion trucks handle towing better than any SUV, with the exception of the large truck based SUVs like Tahoe, Suburban or Expedition. Those large SUVs are really a truck in disguise, they use as much fuel and are required when you want to haul a lot of people and cargo.
Since it is two of you I cant see that you would want such a large SUV, you might as well get a truck. 4 door version with a small box and very comfortable and less like a truck. The Ram's have the ECOmode that cuts to 4 cylinders when cruising on the highway without the trailer, so you average above 20mpg. The Ford EcoBoost will also give you some gas saving when unloaded. Since you live in Cali you are probably looking to cut fuel cost like we have to up here.
If you do go with a midsize SUV, I think you will want to keep the trailer under 26 feet. Durango or Armada are some good options?
I agree with the others, you have to pick either the truck or the trailer and then work your way towards what works with each...Good luck!