In most of the U.S. only the 20-pound cylinders are exchanged. Past few years, exchange cylinders have often been filled to less than 20 pounds, but at least now they are telling you that. Not too long ago they didn't.
You take larger cylinders to a LPG dealer for refills. In most states, they fill the cylinder on a scale and charge on the basis of weight added. Dealers in states where they are required to sell LPG by weight will do the same for 20-pounders, but often there will be a "minimum" charge not much different than the price of an exchange. Where they can't do this, there is sometimes resistance to refilling small cylinders, as the labor cost can exceed the margin on 10-20 pounds of LPG. (Labor cost vs margin on the sale is also why most of us are pumping our own gas and paying at the pump).
I do a lot of my LPG fills (permanently mounted tank) at RV parks rather than LPG dealers or second tier retailers. RV parks offering this service are doing it on a goodwill basis, rather than a profit center, with a small markup over what they pay for a refill. But because they pay retail, it might be a higher price per pound than buying from a wholesaler or first tier retailer.
As opposed to cylinders, which can be weighed, tanks have to be filled by liquid volume, metered at the pump, just like gasoline or diesel. In some states they may be allowed to price by gallon, in others they convert gallons to pounds and charge so much per pound.