Thank you for all the responses!
My wife is very disappointed. She really had her heart set on that trailer, but it really sounds like a bad idea. It's a bit frustrating (and perhaps says something about the salesman) that we told him the Sequoia had a 7100 lb limit, but he still went with that model. I'm kind of curious how he would have handled us finding out after the fact that it was too much for our vehicle.
I did some more research into all the various weight issues. I think I now understand the various weights, but where I have trouble is gauging what to consider for cargo weights.
The payload capacity is 1230. I weigh around 230, my wife around 130, my son we'll say 100, and her daughter around 70. So for our family we add 530 pounds to the vehicle. With no additional gear, that leaves a tongue weight of 700. Which would be ok (but not great) with a 7000 lb trailer using 10% tongue weight.
What should I consider for extra cargo weight in the car? Around 100? 200 lbs?
If I add 200 pounds of luggage/etc., that leaves only 500 for the tongue weight. That means a 5000 lb GVWR trailer if it's fully loaded. It seems to me that the payload capacity is what will severely limit us. Apparently, with 1230 payload, that gives the car 7300lb. The GCVWR is 13,500, so I would be losing out on 1200 pounds of possible weight (7300 plus the 5000 lb trailer). It seems to me that we would benefit by not using the vehicle for carrying gear and instead putting it in the trailer...
How much cargo on top of dry weight is typical in a trailer? How much weight should I expect for water, etc.? I know it varies depending on the person, but is there some ballpark estimate I can use?
I'm sure these answers are on here, so I'll keep poring through this site, but I appreciate any suggestions as far as what size we should be looking for.
Also...I really like the idea of renting one to try out, but where do you suggest looking to rent one?
Thanks!