I am going to apologize right up front. One, for waiting so long to post, and two for the length of this post. It didn’t seem right to post right away for some reason (or actually a few of them.) When Janet informed me of the news I could hardly believe it. I spent that entire day plowing and working outside with my skidsteer and thinking of Don the whole time. I know he loved to do those exact same things and it makes you realize just how much pleasure you can get out of simple things. Why life in LaSal Utah could be more rewarding than the “high life” in the big city. I was so thankful to be able to do it when Don no longer could. I sat down several times to post and I just couldn’t do it and I didn’t want to rush it; he deserves more.
So here goes, starting with a picture from Janet:
Don Curley was my hero.
Or one of them anyway. He was smart, caring, thoughtful, detailed, thorough, adventurous, skilled, funny, clever...the list goes on and on; a lot of traits I admire, but none of those things are why he was a hero of mine. It’s because of the courage he had to make the right decision to get out of a career that was going to kill him. Orourkmw posted Don’s comments on the scenario in 1999 which is about how I remember him describing it to me in person. I mean, it is like a movie or a proverb or something. “One day we all walked out of a meeting and Joe fell dead of a heart attack/stroke before he got to his office”. Stress kills quite literally and yet so few people can make a realization of what will happen if they continue the way they are going and even fewer make the hard decision to make a real change. Don and Janet got out in time to enjoy something like 13 years living in the desert, though they hadn’t really had full retirement yet.
I first got to know Don online relatively soon after my dad passed away from cancer. My dad had worked his entire life as a geology professor and loved what he did. On relatively low pay in the big picture, he and my mom raised my brother and I and still managed to sock enough away to provide for them to retire a little early and start with their plans that primarily included travelling in their brand new 5th wheel and truck to pull it around. The first time he splurged on anything big it seems like. They planned on spending time in Florida in the winter, camping in Montana where he taught field geology every summer, exploring all those places they had put on their bucket list, watching his grandkids going through college. Well, their first summer of retirement was when they found his lung cancer. He was a non-smoker, life-long runner and zealously healthy eater. Go figure. Though they were able to make some short trips by getting his medicine shipped to him via FedEx on dry ice by his friends and flying back for chemo treatments at times, they were confined to very short trips and the bottom line is though it was remarkable how long he lasted and kept a good quality of life, they didn’t see their dreams of retirement happen. Despite doing everything in their power to insure they could.
I’ve certainly done my best to take time to stop and smell roses whenever I can, but losing my dad and seeing how at any moment anybody can have everything change really made an impact on me. I do not want to look back on my life and have regrets and really don’t at this point. But I greatly admire those people that recognize when their lives are going in a direction that isn’t working, and make the painful, scary, risky decision to make the big change.
Jim (of Jimandsue60) had a remarkably similar story of a successful career that was insanely stressful and they finally bailed and took off on their great adventure. I first took note of them because the first time I saw a picture of their giant Arctic Fox on a flatbed F550 with storage boxes and an enclosed trailer with mtn. bikes, dirt bikes and assorted gear...I knew that was the kind of rig I wanted....our dream rig. As I got to know Jim better I learned his story he also became a hero of mine for the exact same reason as Don – the courage to make the right decision that most others would look at and think they were crazy.
I also simply really liked Don. He was guy that I could sit for hours around a campfire and talk about anything with...he’d be in my campfire ring-of-fame if there was such a thing. He had a depth of knowledge about an amazing number of things and was always eager to share what he knew as well as learn what he could from you. Unfortunately, I only got to see him in person twice. The first time was something of a meet and greet, at their house. Meeting people you have only known online is always something of a risk. It’s kind of a leap out the safety zone. I guess we had gotten to know each other well enough to give it a test. It was great to stop by their place in the desert on my way back from a business trip to Arizona and we pretty much hit it off right away. I’m definitely a night owl so I had to be careful to not keep them up all night and make sure to bid them good night at the appropriate time. I remember sitting at their kitchen table thinking how cool it is to get to know these people (both of them) from having mutual online interests. It’s also nice when the way people seem to be online is really who they are in person too. I think was Don was always Don no matter the context or “forum”. He didn’t back down, but also clearly stated himself and separated fact from opinion pretty well. What you see is what you got. One thing that I remember so well from that visit; later that night I was on rv.net, using the Curley’s wifi and one of those threads came up where the 12v fridges became the topic. Don gave his standard informative comments and said how it worked for HIM and then a few others jumped in and peed & moaned about how they are terrible, not appropriate for anybody and simply junk (slight exaggeration by me.) Don hadn’t said they are better for anybody but himself and I know those kind of “putting words in his mouth” posts really irked him and he hastily replied that I guess they are junk and he was going to go out right then and pull it out and throw it away…..to which I was able to post “Well Don, if you are going to throw it away, I’ll go ahead and take it off your hands right now, I am outside in your driveway to pick it up.” ? I remember laughing out loud in my camper as we exchanged PM’s back and forth late into the evening.
The other time we met was when some of our friends and we planned a trip to Canyonlands to a part we’ve never been to before and invited Don and Janet to join us. You can see the Trip Report
here if you are interested. You’ll notice he said he was a little concerned about trying to do any joint expeditions with a combination of dirt bikes and 4x4’s worrying about the relative differences in speed and he was probably wondering if we were going to prove to be a gang of crazy dirt bike riders. But we really what we all shared was a love of exploring and it all worked incredibly well. Neither my wife nor my buddies’ wife had ever been on a serious 4x4 trail like Elephant hill and getting that experience was probably a once-in-a-lifetime thrill. He and Janet were an amazing team. One thing I’ll also never forget is after having their jeep packed in what I imagine as a 430 step checklist packed by weight and 3 dimensional shape and the likelihood of need for access (there is probably a CAD file somewhere on his PC diagramming it all in 3D)...and when I tentatively asked him if the ladies could ride with them there was no hesitation in saying sure and he proceeded to completely unpack, rearrange (and maybe leave behind the spare U-joints, drive shafts and Swiss Army Couch) and repack to make space for not just one but two passengers. I’ll always appreciate Don and Janet for making that sacrifice for our ladies.
We talked about a lot of topics on that trip. I remember the timing was nice for him to show us one of the hard to see planets with our binoculars and talk a lot about astronomy. He was beyond the ordinary back yard astronomer....I think literally he had the best observatory setup between Denver and Salt Lake City. One of his goals was to move to the desert and be able to see the stars like he never could in the big city. He probably researched every last little bit he could on putting the whole thing together. The most impressive to me was what went into the base for the scope. The base is a giant column 10’ above ground and that column goes 10’ underground, where there is a giant block of reinforced concrete 10’x10’x10’. You could build a house with all that concrete. He told me a story that cracked me up about when he was having it built. The whole thing has to be built with the right orientation and he had sighted with a compass what direction due north was and to make sure the guys did it right but as they were building it he kept looking and thinking something was wrong. He brought it up to the guys doing the work and they showed him the compass reading and it appeared to be in fact oriented correctly. I’ve done some underground geologic mapping before and was pleased I was able to guess exactly why it was actually NOT right before he got to the punchline. They were taking the reading too close to the concrete, which had so much rebar in it that it can deflect a compass needle. Walk away further and the needle moved to the real reading. I guess he took the whole thing in stride and compensated elsewhere in the design. I guess I tell that story because it helps understand just how meticulous, detailed and knowledgeable he was and how much he always strived to do things "right." He liked a good puzzle to solve. Especially in all things science or engineering, but he never acted like he knew more than anyone else. He liked to share his knowledge and loved to learn. When a long term country-wide seismic study came sweeping through his area and wanted to setup a station in his area, he not only fully agreed to let them put it on their property, he bought the equipment after the time period elapsed so that his site could continue to be monitored and provide useful data for everyone. One more backyard science hobby for him.
It’s funny that I don’t remember talking too much geology; I actually remember talking more geology with Janet, who is every bit the eager learner that Don was. We had some great conversations and spent time poring over some geology maps I brought before a couple of the trips. It even inspired me to do a little geology lesson on that trip report.
One other thing I want to mention about that trip; Cathedral Point is something you see on the map and if you look closely you know the view will be phenomenal before getting anywhere near it in person. The kind of thing you see and know you want to go there someday. It was an amazing spot that we all stood in awe of for....a long time. The four of us all wanted to someday camp there. Don and Janet did it later that year. I have unofficially renamed it Curley Point from here on out in his honor. I don’t think I’ll ever get my rig quite to the spot, but I WILL return there someday and honor the Curleys in some small way when I do. This picture of Don and I talking there is exactly how I will always see Don in my mind. Studying, discussing, pointing at the physical world around him, with his mind churning away on everything he was taking in. One of Ben’s pictures above is almost identical.
Curley Point:
37.980076,-109.723624
Look it up on google maps.....
I exchanged emails with Don just back in January, when I asked him if he was interested in going to the Overland Expo. There’s nobody else I’d rather go with to check out that show than Don. Now Don would have never been accused of having had an economy of words. I share the same affliction. He had some health issues and went to great length explaining them to me complete with xrays and technical terminology for it all. I have some similar issues and as always, I was happy to learn more, and he was happy to share. He was very positive after his surgery and was seemingly doing very well. He told me he had high hopes of being able to gradually get back to hiking and eventually still wanted to climb a few more 14’ers in Colorado including Uncompahgre Peak not too far from their home. But he felt he’d still be in physical therapy and wouldn’t be able to join us in Flagstaff. But to make a short story long, instead of saying “no, I had surgery and will be in PT” he wrote 3 or 4 pages including “35 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and descriptions on the back of each one” as Arlo Guthrie would say. I’ve read that set of emails several times since and it still makes me smile, laugh and tear up at the same time. That was just 3 or 4 weeks before he passed away suddenly. I still can hardly believe it.
I know a lot of people here on rv.net don’t have any desire to meet any of the fellow members; a lot of us are kind of loner types anyway (overall) and want to get as far away from everything and everyone as possible. That’s OK. But as much as I enjoy “getting out there” from time to time it is more fun to be sharing it with a few other similar people. I’ve gone out of my way to meet a few members from rv.net and I have always been glad I did. I have met some remarkable people through rv.net and am richer for it. I’m sorry I never met SirDrakeJr; I was glad I met Xnorp back in 06. Both of them are gone now and can’t share the campfire except in our memories. I’d like to meet Clattertruck someday (he gets the TC lifetime achievement award if anybody here does.) But I cannot be more grateful that we met Don and Janet and shared a truly wonderful experience in the desert when we did. Take the chance and the opportunity to meet some of your fellow rv.netters when you can, I doubt you will regret it. I know the trip we shared with Don and Janet will always be a part of our life experience and we will cherish the memories we share.
Don – thank you for sharing a little piece of your trip through life with us; you will always be a hero to me and you will always be a part of our campfire. I hope I have the courage to make the right decisions, at the right time, like you did.
Janet – you are always welcome at our hearth or at our campfire any time, any place, or anywhere.
Brian and LaDawn
