The weight listed on the inner door sticker is supposedly what that particular unit weighs from the factory.
It sounds like you would be very close to all the limits, or slightly over, if your weights are accurate. I can see two reasonable options. The first is to just go for it, after making sure the tires are fully up to their proper pressures, and drive carefully and hope for the best; you shouldn't be grossly overweight, and are not operating outside the law. I would avoid putting heavy stuff in the minivan in this case because it's maxing out the (assumed) 5000 pound hitch empty.
A better plan IMHO would be to leave the tow dolly behind and have someone drive the minivan with some people and/or stuff separately. This would ensure you're well under all the limits and generally be safer; it might also be somewhat more comfortable than having 9 people in the motorhome, depending on the people and their congeniality and the layout of the motorhome.