Poop water is everywhere

I can laugh now but I wasn't laughing a couple of days ago.

DW and I went camping for several days and came back over the weekend. There was no sewer dump where we went. I have a macerator and a 100-foot line so I can dump my tanks into my septic, so that wasn't a problem.

We unloaded Monday and Tuesday was time for the M/H cleanup, which included dumping the tanks. Everything was all hooked up. I had a hundred foot of hose laid out from the M/H through the fence to the cleanout on the back patio. I stuffed about 5 foot of hose down the septic line and I'm ready to go. It works so well. It's never messy and there's very little to clean up afterward,,, or so I thought.

The tanks are pretty full and it was going to take a little while to empty them. Of course, I always dump the black tank first. After I turned the pump on, I was putting a few things away and I walk beside the house and the sewer odor over there was horrible. I'm thinking the wind caught everything just right and was blowing the stink over to that side of the house. I walk that way again a couple of minutes later, it's getting worse and the odor is now spreading all over my land. What the heck, there shouldn't be that much odor but it is what it is and it'll dissipate shortly when I close up everything. It will only take another 10 minutes or so.

Here comes the grind. I've got a Boxer that's two or three years old and is very playful and mischievous. Murphy is his name and it's fitting (Murphy's law). If anyone has ever had a Boxer, you know what I'm talking about. He's in the backyard and he's grunting and barking acting like a complete moron, so I'm yelling at him to shut up. That doesn't do any good so I walk back there and what do I see. YUP, that dumb a$$ dog has got the macerator hose pulled out of the septic clean out and it's in his mouth. He's running around playing, all the while, brown water is shooting all over the place. I start yelling at him to drop it and of course, he thinks that means LETS PLAY. So here he is, running around me, growling, romping and jumping with the sewer hose spewing everywhere including on himself. My pants legs and shoes are getting soaked. I'm screaming at the dog to stop while I'm chasing him around in a circle wading in a half inch of poop water on the patio. Well, it didn't take me long to figure out, he's not stopping and he's not letting go of the hose and the macerator is pumping away and it isn't going to stop either. I run to the M/H to shut the pump off. At least, it's not spewing anymore but there are 15 or 20 gallons of poop water standing on the back patio.

After I calmed down, I'm trying to assess the situation and figure out now what. I'll take things in order. Wash the dog IN COLD WATER (a little revenge here). I have to do that in the front yard since there's no place in the back to stand without making a bigger mess. Of course, this stupid a$$ dog is enjoying it and does the shimmy shake as soon as I get him wet so he's slinging a mist of poop water all over me. After a 20 minute bath, I get him in the house to dry off and I tackle the poop lake on the patio. Three gallons of bleach, a power washer and an hour of time things are back to normal,,, if there is such a thing. I finally start over and finish dumping the tanks. With the dog in the house, it works just like it should have done to start with.

Lesson learned: Don't dump the tanks at home using the macerator with Murphy outside.