I just read your post. I have a Ford Excursion and a Jayco 32BHDS. I had the Reese round bar setup and mine looked exactly as yours does. I was bending snap brackets, cam arms, and even ripping the bolts for the cam arms out of the frame. What was happening to mine is on a left hand turn, the bar wound not unlock from the detent on the inside bar. Instead, the shank would rotate a little in the receiver and the bar would raise up while locked into the detent resulting in slack in the chain (Think about how the detent on the inside bar moves back on a turn. If it does not unlock and the shank can twist a little, the cam arm raises up because as it raises up it in essence gets longer). Then it would eventually unlock (maybe by a bump or enough bending on a hitch component occurred for it to snap loose)and snap down giving you the real loud bang you hear (I don't think the bang causes the snap bracket to bend but the bending of the bracket may cause the bar to unlock from the detent). I admire your tenacity in trying to re-adjust and adding backer plates, etc. but after a couple of tries, I admitted defeat and switched to Equal-i-zer hitch and never had a problem again. I think you would also be fine if you switched to a trunion style Reese. My opinion is that the round bar setup along with a bottom mount hitch (like Jayco's have) is a bad match. I think there is too much of a twisting moment at the hitch pin because the downward force at the cam is too low compared to the trailer frame. With the Excursion, there are no options on the receiver other than shims to keep the shank from twisting, but I did not try this.
Good luck!