KrowNB, glad to offer up my "solution". I got all of this directly from the Equalizer website and from experienced owners.
There are two areas that create the noise. The first one is the two sockets in the head that accept the WD bars. Grease the top and bottom surfaces of these sockets. When you insert the bar you can see how they move side to side and you will also see the surfaces I am talking about. The friction that controls sway comes mainly from this head unit. There are bolts that need to be torqued to specifications and after the head is loaded, the resistance to sway is quite sufficient. Greasing these surfaces does not lessen the friction in any real way. It does help quiet the head though.
The second area is the L bracket. Equalizer has come up with a sleeve that fits on the bracket and the WD bars sits on top of that. Equalizer has also said that you can "lightly" grease the L bracket and this is what I do. I have heard that the plastic sleeve will wear out over time so I chose not to get these.
I am on my second hitch and while there is some sound, I would not call it noise. My first hitch was rather loud and it took me a while to follow the suggestions from the manufacturer. I also make sure that I grease the ball like most of us do.
Yes, your hitch can be messy to deal with because of all the grease but I keep mine as clean as I can and I don't over grease things. I do have to be careful when handling it but I still really like the Equalizer. As someone as stated, with an electric tongue jack, hooking and unhooking is not a real physical challenge. I don't have to deal with snapping chains into place while under tension either.