Allowing my SO to take our unit for the weekend ?

[me2]

Warning, thorny topic approaching. I'd like to hear opinions on how I should handle this.

We have a 2008 LWB CC F350 and a 40 foot (42 foot with rack) long, 14,000 pound, 12' 8" high 5th wheel trailer.

Our family wants to camp with another family this weekend. The other family is very difficult to plan with and the plan has turned into something that I would rather not participate in. Specifically, we would be parking our trailer at their cabin and they don't want to meet until late Saturday afternoon. They also don't want us to park earlier than they arrive. The cabin in 3+ hours away. This family habitually runs late.

I do not see the value of driving 3 hours, parking our 5er at 2 PM (or later) Saturday then having to pack up on Sunday afternoon at 3PM and drive 3 hours home so that we can work on Monday. Too much driving (6-7 hours) for not enough time (< 24 hours hours in total after set up and take down) to have fun.

I like these people and I am more than willing to drive up Friday after work, set up the trailer Friday night and enjoy the weekend with them.

My wife understands my position. Her solution to the problem is for me to stay home and do whatever I want and she will take the truck and trailer for the weekend.

My wife drives a compact car, which sometimes gets marked up in parking garages. In 2009 she did significant damage ($5,000) to one side of it by hitting a post. In her defense, that occurred after a night shift when she was really tired.

She will be taking 2 young children with her, ages 2 and 4.

She rarely drives my truck without the trailer. Like 2x a year to a grocery store. She drove my truck with a trailer for 4 hours on the highway in 2008 and once again in 2010.

She has never tried hooking up or unhooking the trailer. She has never backed up the trailer. I would not classify the people in the other family as being experienced, skilled drivers. My wife does not have a good understanding of mechanical things, she is not handy with tools.

My wife has a hard time staying alert when driving long distances. She does very little out of city driving.

I am partly to blame for this situation because I have not allowed her to drive our unit during our regular trips.

If you were me, how would you handle her request to take the truck and 5er for the weekend ?

[toedtoes]

Of course things could have been better organized, etc. But, as with everything in life, unless you do it all yourself, you have to let folks do things their own way. Not everybody wants an organized weekend.

And so what if they didn't finish breakfast until 11 am? And who cares if they didn't finish setting up tents until 3 pm. Again, that could be why they didn't want you there before Saturday - because they wanted a leisurely morning before they dealt with all the goings on.

This isn't about twisting facts - this is about you wanting them to do things your way or you won't bother with them. Being an organized person myself with a fly by the seat of her pants friend, I can tell you without a doubt that if you don't let it go and learn to meld their ways in with yours, you will never be a happy camper.

[me2]

toedtoes wrote:

momentum rv wrote:
I've camped with people that just don't have it together and they spend the whole weekend toiling and spinning trying to do things that should have been dealt with before the trip or during routine maintenance.

I work very hard to get my "stuff" together so I can have an enjoyable weekend not having to screw around trying to fix, adjust, locate, etc. and can enjoy my weekend. The last thing I want to do is spend all weekend dealing with someone else's issues.

Obviously if something breaks or there is some kind of unforeseen issues someone has I am usually one of the first to jump in and get it taken care of so we can go back to enjoying the weekend.

I can understand the OP not wanting to spend his whole weekend working.

"Your poor planning is not my emergency"

I understand that part completely. Where the OP's thinking went whacko is when he decided that everything about this weekend was a waste of his effort - regardless of how important it was to his wife.

And all that horrid setup of tents, etc., on Saturday? Perhaps that's why the owner didn't want the OP coming early - because they'd be busy setting up. But the OP threw a fit and they said "OK come up Friday night" and then the OP whines because they spent early Saturday setting up tents. Poor baby!

They didn't get done breakfast until 11AM. It was noon until we got our trailer parked. They set up tents until about 3PM.

And I didn't throw a fit about coming up Friday night. And my wife agreed that coming up late Saturday didn't make much sense.

If you twist the facts you can incorrectly make this out to be whatever you want. Fact is, it was a very poorly executed camping weekend. If you want to criticize me for complaining about that, so be it. I have better uses for my time.

And FYI, my wife shares about 3/4s of the views I express here, maybe more. So it's not just me that thought the weekend could have went a lot better.

[sayoung]

this reminds me of some of my family members from both sides,some help with everything and some just show up with a bunch of kids and a big big appetite:S

[toedtoes]

momentum rv wrote:
I've camped with people that just don't have it together and they spend the whole weekend toiling and spinning trying to do things that should have been dealt with before the trip or during routine maintenance.

I work very hard to get my "stuff" together so I can have an enjoyable weekend not having to screw around trying to fix, adjust, locate, etc. and can enjoy my weekend. The last thing I want to do is spend all weekend dealing with someone else's issues.

Obviously if something breaks or there is some kind of unforeseen issues someone has I am usually one of the first to jump in and get it taken care of so we can go back to enjoying the weekend.

I can understand the OP not wanting to spend his whole weekend working.

"Your poor planning is not my emergency"

I understand that part completely. Where the OP's thinking went whacko is when he decided that everything about this weekend was a waste of his effort - regardless of how important it was to his wife.

And all that horrid setup of tents, etc., on Saturday? Perhaps that's why the owner didn't want the OP coming early - because they'd be busy setting up. But the OP threw a fit and they said "OK come up Friday night" and then the OP whines because they spent early Saturday setting up tents. Poor baby!

[momentum_rv]

I've camped with people that just don't have it together and they spend the whole weekend toiling and spinning trying to do things that should have been dealt with before the trip or during routine maintenance.

I work very hard to get my "stuff" together so I can have an enjoyable weekend not having to screw around trying to fix, adjust, locate, etc. and can enjoy my weekend. The last thing I want to do is spend all weekend dealing with someone else's issues.

Obviously if something breaks or there is some kind of unforeseen issues someone has I am usually one of the first to jump in and get it taken care of so we can go back to enjoying the weekend.

I can understand the OP not wanting to spend his whole weekend working.

"Your poor planning is not my emergency"

[ford_truck_guy]

RedRam wrote:

me2 wrote:
Another few snipets...

Unfortunately the cabin didn't have enough beds for everyone (4 families), so the host starts setting up 2 and 3 person tents (4 of them ?) on the lawn. And inflating air mattresses, who knows how many. Of course the inflator doesn't work.

Me me me sat on a lawn chair for the first hour nursing a beer while he drug this stuff out and set it up. After a while I got bored and hopped in a kayak for a paddle. So peaceful on the lake.

Sunday morning Me me me sat and watched the same process in reverse, tearing down tents and packing them away. Folding up air mattresses. Yuck. Didn't seem like fun to me and Me me me wasn't going to help them.

My wife who issued the "lets pack up" signal at 3PM because me me me was still sitting in a lawn chair nursing a beer thinking about my world. We pulled out of the driveway at about 3:45, dishes done, everything except the kayaks. We rolled away at 4:15 with the kayaks on the roof,[COLOR=] having said her goodbyes.

having said her goodbyes.

I think the hosts spent the entire afternoon packing up. Dragging all their stuff from the cabin to their van. I think they had less fun than I did.

Did you take any pics of your kayaks ?.

Quote--

We rolled away at 4:15 with the kayaks on the roof, having said her goodbyes.


I laugh harder each time I re-read his thought process.. He must be a hoot at the neighborhood party if he treats family like this... Her goodbyes... You cant make this stuff up !!

[RedRam]

me2 wrote:
Another few snipets...

Unfortunately the cabin didn't have enough beds for everyone (4 families), so the host starts setting up 2 and 3 person tents (4 of them ?) on the lawn. And inflating air mattresses, who knows how many. Of course the inflator doesn't work.

Me me me sat on a lawn chair for the first hour nursing a beer while he drug this stuff out and set it up. After a while I got bored and hopped in a kayak for a paddle. So peaceful on the lake.

Sunday morning Me me me sat and watched the same process in reverse, tearing down tents and packing them away. Folding up air mattresses. Yuck. Didn't seem like fun to me and Me me me wasn't going to help them.

My wife who issued the "lets pack up" signal at 3PM because me me me was still sitting in a lawn chair nursing a beer thinking about my world. We pulled out of the driveway at about 3:45, dishes done, everything except the kayaks. We rolled away at 4:15 with the kayaks on the roof, having said her goodbyes.

I think the hosts spent the entire afternoon packing up. Dragging all their stuff from the cabin to their van. I think they had less fun than I did.

Did you take any pics of your kayaks ?.

[me2]

rjxj wrote:
Cant make it, brakes are locked up. We'll get back to you.:)

LOL. It might come to that.

[azrving]

me2 wrote:

toedtoes wrote:
So, first, it sounds like there was more than JUST your family and their family - else why all the tents. That, and your wife's insistence that your family attends, sounds like this WAS a reunion not just a "weekend together".

For that reason, I agree that you appear to be very selfish about the entire thing. Not once in any of your posts have you given any benefit to your wife or her cousin that this was something beyond just a weekend trip.

Just because it's not YOUR family doesn't mean you get to be an arse.

Normal folks will help set up and tear down at events like this - not expecting the hosts to do all the work because "I'm a guest" - this was a FAMILY reunion.

And I suspect your wife chose the time to pack up and leave because she was tired of everyone asking her why you were being such a pill.

Except they want us back next year.

Cant make it, brakes are locked up. We'll get back to you.:)

[me2]

toedtoes wrote:
So, first, it sounds like there was more than JUST your family and their family - else why all the tents. That, and your wife's insistence that your family attends, sounds like this WAS a reunion not just a "weekend together".

For that reason, I agree that you appear to be very selfish about the entire thing. Not once in any of your posts have you given any benefit to your wife or her cousin that this was something beyond just a weekend trip.

Just because it's not YOUR family doesn't mean you get to be an arse.

Normal folks will help set up and tear down at events like this - not expecting the hosts to do all the work because "I'm a guest" - this was a FAMILY reunion.

And I suspect your wife chose the time to pack up and leave because she was tired of everyone asking her why you were being such a pill.

Except they want us back next year.

[me2]

toedtoes wrote:

rjxj wrote:
You are lucky you didn't have to work on the cabin. Sounds like a pita if you ask me. The guy will have trouble with an RV too because he doesn't have his stuff together. There is nothing worse than dealing with someone who operates with all their systems in disorder. Sounds like he was never forced to pick up his toys or clean his room.

You aren't selfish, you are like many of us who work every day and have earned the time off to enjoy yourself. As I said earlier, go to places you enjoy and meet people that work out for you. They dont have it together. A decently trained monkey would have it together better than that and not be dealing with foul water and might even have a hose splinter on hand. Why does he whine about the cabin, HE bought it, he needs to be a big boy and get it together. 🙂

As it was a family reunion and by his own statements the OP was not being social at all, perhaps the owner of the cabin was trying to be a good host and making an effort to draw him out with a conversation. Maybe he thought the OP would enjoy talking about how much better his RV is than the cabin? Maybe the last thing the owner wants is to buy an RV, but he figured it would be the subject the OP would latch on to since he appears to be so self-centered.

It wasn't a family reunion ! It as an end of summer get together !

[me2]

Brockinfla wrote:
Be careful teaching your wife to tow that 5ver. She'll probably leave you in it.

Actually, what happened is that she has a much greater appreciation for the effort I put into taking our family places in it. Win, win !

[Naio]

me2 wrote:
I'm sorry, but when I'm invited to attend something like this as a GUEST, I don't want to cut their grass, fix the water system, set up their tents and fix the air mattress inflator.

Really? When I stay at someone's place I always look for things I can help out with. For just a night or two like this it would just be helping out with setup, washing dishes, watching the kids, etc. For longer stays I am definitely fixing their water system.

And yeah, you need a hose Y if you are staying at someone's place. Available at the dollar store. You can't expect to monopolise their faucet.

[Linedog]

In before the lock.