CAPTAIN’S LOG - DAY 5
North Star Date: 12/1/2012
Location or Route: Fort Nelson, BC to Dawson Creek, BC.
Travel Miles: 283 (1464 - Cumulative)
Weather Conditions: Overcast with light to moderate snowfall on and off all day.
Road Conditions: Overnight snowfall accumulations of 2-3 inches. Mostly ice and snow packed with some stretches of bare pavement. Mostly plowed and graveled or sanded. Many ground blizzards in moderate snow by tractor trailers and other vehicles causing blinding conditions at times.
Animals Observed: a herd of Caribou, one Mule Deer, and a Sasquatch (Bigfoot).
10:11 AM (-4F/-20C)
Ironically, on my first “official day of retirement” - December 1st - I had to work late in the hotel room and get an article off to the editor. We finally went down to the office for the continental breakfast that the desk clerk had been so proud of last night, promoting it at least eleven times during our check-in.
Lo and behold - there was Dan Aykroyd! You know - Saturday Night Live Dan, of Ghostbusters and “Jane you ignorant strut” fame? He must own this hotel! I had forgotten he was Canadian until Ruth mentioned it. Yeah, he was on the telephone talking business to a woman named Jane, when we came in to get our breakfast cereal and teensy-tiny ham, cheese, egg and biscuit sandwiches and pineapple-zucchini muffins. No fresh fruit? Must have fresh fruit!
While we ate, Dan’s business call got louder and louder and went from initially very pleasant and controlled to angrier and angrier saying such things as, “Jane, if she doesn’t like our work she can just get somebody else!” and “She wanted all white cabinets and we decided a little black smear in from the edges would be nice!” and “Well, she wants perfection, and if she wants us to come in and fix it now then TOUGH TITTY!” - and milk just about came out of Ruth’s nose.
I’m looking around in a bit of amused shock and Ruth has her eyes closed in concentration, exercising extreme control trying to keep from laughing out loud, and the desk clerk and continental breakfast lady are wandering around picking up things and wiping off counters and stuff, acting all nervous and apologizing to Ruth and me for Dan’s outburst like it happens all the time and they were expecting it or something.
It had been many years since we’d heard the expression, “tough titty”, and it was so comical, used seriously by a grown man in that cute little Canadian accent that Dan used on Saturday Night Live.
We have to side with the client this time, because we think this guy was the same master-craftsman who installed the kitchenette cabinets we found in our room.
(Disclaimer: The hotel and staff were wonderfully accommodating. Rates were reasonable and we would definitely stay here again. The events described above are for purposes of humorous writing but pretty much happened exactly as stated.)
11:11 AM (-4F/-20C)
Five minutes out of Fort Nelson - flashing highway sign reads BLOWING SNOW – LIMITED VISIBILITY – SEVERE WINTER CONDITIONS AHEAD. “Oh Fuuuuuuudge!”
12:11 PM (-5F/-21C)
Road conditions pretty good so far, even boring - monotonous. Waylon Jennings makes for some good road music.
1:11 PM (-6F/-21C)
Road conditions still good, still monotonous, but – we did see a tractor trailer rig down in the oncoming lane’s barrow-pit nestled in about three feet of snow, so that was cool. Yeah, he’ll be there ‘til spring; couldn’t grab the camera fast enough. AC/DC makes for some good road music.
2:11 PM (-7F/-22C)
Road conditions are still good, not so boring at times. Saw where a snow-plow truck had taken a corner too sharp and dropped his right rear tires off the edge of the road surface. He tilted nose-up at a precarious angle with the left side of the plow pointed heavenward. I couldn’t grab the camera fast enough. Traveling Wilburys makes for some good road music.
3:11 PM (-6F/-21C)
Road conditions worsening in places. Ruth’s CB radio batteries finally died. I’ve taken to communicating with her using my headlights flashing simple messages in Morse code. At first it was kind of hard, and a bit confusing. It’s surprising just how long it takes to flash out, “Breaker one nine sweet chil’ ‘o mine you got a bubba with a big white trailer”.
She caught right on however, and soon was tapping out “10-4 Good Buddy” with her brake lights in record time and with limited errors. Everything was going fine until I misunderstood her message “Gas” as needing a potty-stop when what she really meant was she needed to refuel her Jeep. I can’t seem to get her attention now. Michael Martin Murphey makes for some good road music.
4:11 PM (-5F/-21C)
We just refueled in Fort St. John. It was dark now and we pulled out of town for an expected easy 47 miles to Dawson Creek. While stopped I put fresh batteries in Ruth’s CB radio; she’s talking to me again.
5:11 PM (-5F/-21C)
Just outside of town we came to more flashing highway signs about “steep grades” and “mandatory chain-up” for combinations of five axles or more. I counted mine: one, two, three and four. Whew! That was close – I HATE chaining up; that’s probably the worst thing about carrying chains!
The chain-up staging area was filled with rigs and cars of all kinds. You could see a line of headlights coming down the steep hill and another line of tail-lights going up. Some were military youngsters on their own Alaska exodus and you could tell these by how they would weave in and out of the other traffic.
The situation looked eerily similar to the miner’s trail over Chilkoot Pass above Skagway during the Klondike Gold Rush of 1898! I was also reminded of an amusement park ride where the sign says, “You Must Be This Tall To Ride”, except in this case it would have been a limbo-bar that read ,”If You Can’t Go THIS Low – You MUST Chain-Up”!
So in the spirit of C.W. McCall, I “put down my bottle and mashed my foot down on the throttle” and from a standstill, began the trip up that hill.
I have two greatest worries about this trip, please don’t tell Ruth. Both have to do with the fact that I’m cheap.
1. My two diesel truck batteries are nearing the end of their life-cycle. I didn’t want to pay Fairbanks (or Canada) prices for batteries when these still appear to be perfectly adequate and lower 48 prices are easier to take. I wouldn’t have even considered that gamble if we didn’t have two cars.
2. My truck tires were new when we came up here and are now three years older. Any experienced winter driver knows new rubber is always more grippy than used rubber. I have adequate tread, but just barely.
Since departing Fairbanks and needing that battery jump in Whitehorse, I have seriously questioned my decision to put off buying new batteries, but too bad - so sad!
Now however, I am seriously thinking about kicking my own smash for such tire-buying stupidity in the face of this hill! Ruth goes ahead and I take a position at the back door.
We start out good enough; the grade says 8%, but it sure seems worse than those 8%’s we came down earlier today. The road is fairly well sanded (yes, we’re into less gravel and more sand now), but due to chain use and lots of traffic the snow pack is somewhat loose and I’m concerned about breaking traction.
The Cummins turbo-diesel pumps out gobs of torque (610 foot pounds) and muscle (345 horsepower). Dodge had sucky automatic transmissions for many years, but the newly designed 48RE installed in my 2006 is awesome! The shift-points in the “Tow/Haul” setting are perfect, and it is very strong. As the engine speed holds at about 2200 RPM, the 10,000 lb. truck and camper combination drags that 10,000 lbs. of cargo-trailer kicking and screaming up the slope. Speed about 25 mph, doing fine, now hold her steady. I flash out “give me room - don’t hold me back” in Morse code over the headlights.
There are only two sets of headlights behind me. What’s that now, the road steepens? RPM holds steady but speed falls off, down to 20 mph - now down to 15. Don’t break traction, don’t break traction. Why is the speed less but the RPM the same? Is the tranny fluid too hot? Wish I had a temperature gauge for that. Oh great – am I going to burn out this transmission?
Damn you Spike! Why did I ever listen to you and bring Lil’ Willy on this trip? Why did we haul all those damn family photos and kid’s school art projects all this way if we weren’t going to do anything with them but haul them all back! Why did I have to buy that EXTRA utility trailer? Why – Oh Why was I so stupid? Don’t break traction, don’t break traction!
(Informational: Spike is my friend who said bringing Lil’ Willy to Fairbanks was a good plan because there are great trails all over the area to go four-wheeling. Lil’ Willy is our 1954 CJ3B Willys Jeep and the extra utility trailer was purchased in Alaska as a souvenir to be pulled behind Lil’ Willy - both of which are inside the cargo-trailer along with our household goods and all the other heavy items mentioned above.)
Just a little further - I think I see the top. Where is Ruth? Is that a Care Bear? Oh My Gosh it was just an illusion - there’s a whole ‘nuther hill ahead - and look at those big trucks coming down! From behind, headlight 1 and headlight 2 fly around me and quickly dart in front before the downhill traffic hits them! I swerve to miss them. Military Youngsters, damn you!
What’s that warm feeling? Did I turn on the heated seat? No time to check – keep your eyes on the road. How are the gauges, I wish I had a transmission oil-temperature gauge, don’t break traction. That’s a pretty warm feeling.
About four hours later we reached the top. I wanted to pull over and cool the transmission, but Ruth was ready to fly, “C’mon slow-poke” she flashed over her brake lights. I got on the radio and said “Hunny, do you know where we packed my brown pants”? “Don’t worry about it” she replied, “it’s dark and I’ll walk behind”. So I’ve got that going for me - which is good.
Day 5 Pics