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does this happen to anyone else

late_bloomer
Explorer
Explorer
two things
first: we spend a ton of cash for our coach so we can have awesome camping vacations, and then DW wants to take vacations doing everything but camping.

second: when we actually do schedule a camping vacation, it ends up being the absolute worst weather of the season. It's been raining all week, with no end in sight!
I got here as quick as I could.
35 REPLIES 35

gbopp
Explorer
Explorer
Yep, it's called Life.

tatest
Explorer II
Explorer II
Married life is a compromise, sometimes two different ways of seeing the same thing.

We got the RV so that she would not have to go camping, rather we could take a house with us when we traveled in the U.S. This is a just a way of looking at it, it can be camping for you, and something else not camping for her. This worked in my case because I had taken her camping (7x7 canvas tent) for many years and thus the RV to her was not camping.

You have to do some things you want to do, some things she wants to do. Sometimes a vacation for you is not a vacation for her, particularly if you set it up so that she spends all her time taking care of your needs, as she would at home. This is one of the dark sides of RVing, when it is not done right. I've seen some wives fall right into it, playing servant in the home away from home, but not all will see it this way. Some want it to be a vacation for them too, not just the same old housekeeping thing made more difficult.

The weather is what it is. I've been rained on in Rome, Ibeza, Disney World, Alaska, Ireland and the south of France. I've been rained on many times on RV trips, even caught in severe storms, but at least I wasn't in a tent, camping, I was in a RV that I did not have to fold up wet so I could take it home to dry out on a sunnier day.

On retirement, I thought wanted to go "camping." She did not, had enough camping when we were younger. But she did want to go traveling. Thus with a RV, we could travel and she would not have to camp. I might pretend that RVing was camping. I could sit outside, build a fire, watch it burn. She could stay inside and watch TV, as if she were at home. This is about managing the point of view. Camping (pretend) for one, not camping for the other.

Part of what got her into the RV was joining a RV club, going out 3-5 days a month, 10 months of the year with a group of a dozen or more people of similar age and interests. What makes that work is that "camping" is not the purpose of the trip, rather it is something that provides a setting for, and enables, the group social activity.

To help make this work, I am the one who does the housekeeping for these trips, and the RV generally. Otherwise, what you think of as a vacation turns out not to be a vacation for her, rather just another house that she has to take care of for you.

Until she got sick, and much of our travel was for cancer treatment, we would make one or two RV road trips a year, in addition to the RV club outings. Two to four weeks was the maximum for road trips, mostly concerns with what might be going on at home, or what might be going on with our children scattered around the world.

Time had to be made also for getting together with distant family (might or might not be a RV trip) and for the travel she wanted to do, most of it outside North America, some of it best suited to port intensive cruises, some of it working better with escorted tours or just going to a city and staying there for a while (e.g. Rome and Lisbon three times each).

After retirement, before getting the RV, we got some stuff out of the way. We made three trips to England to visit the kids and grandkids, took a 21-day Mediterranean cruise, made a month long road trip down the east coast ending with house hunting in Florida (decided not to live there), and a month in China to visit old friends and travel with adopted "daughters." Then a couple weeks in Alaska to visit one of our Chinese "daughters" who was moving there, and wrapping up the first year of retirement with a cruise on the Mexican Riviera.

I think women tend to be anchored to home. Whether it was RV road trips, trips to visit family, bucket list global travel, it mostly got done with time limits. You might have an idea of just dropping everything, leaving it all behind, hitting the road until you get tired of it. Working towards retirement, starting as early as my forties, I did some of these things in my head. Just hit the road with a sleeping bag on the back of a motorcycle, as I got older rolling the bag out in the back of a minivan, traveling until I got tired of it. This often works into the RV road trip dream as we get older, but it is more often a guy thing. Your woman may be anchored to a home, and it may not be easy breaking her away from that to do a full-timer, hobo, homeless thing, different names for differing POVs.
Tom Test
Itasca Spirit 29B

Grandpere
Explorer
Explorer
DW and I talked about traveling before getting the MH, and now that we have it she does nothing but complain. We have boondocked and she dislike that so we stay in parks. We were at our son's place foe the month of Feb, less travel time, so say 3 weeks and she complained about that--too cold, too long, want to go home.

So now I am planning our summer trip to go to Oregon to see our granddaughters and the new--currently underway--great granddaughter. Then on to MT, SD, IA, the home. OK she says but only for a max of 2 months, we leave the 25th of May and she says we WILL be home by the 25th of July. A 4-5 month excursion turned into a 2 month shotgun ride. To be quite honest she doesn't even want to go. I suggested that I drive out there and she can fly later and I will pick her up in Portland see the grand daughters and great granddaughter, go to MT with me to see her brother, and then fly home while I drive the rest of the way home. THAT was a mistake!!!

So long story short, I totally understand what you are going thru. Her idea of travelling was 1 week to maybe 10 days 3-4 times a year and stay at home the rest of the time. What the hell did we buy it for if it is going to do nothing more than occupy space in the driveway for 325 days out of the year? I hate motel room, but we would have been money ahead to travel that way for what she wants to do with it. You would think we are still working and having to take short vacations instead of retired and able to go with impunity.
Berniece & Russell Johnson
Lil'Bit, a Netherland Dwarf Rabbit
1987 Southwind
1995 Ford F150 Supercab

Life in the fast lane? No thanks, we will stop and smell the flowers at every opportuity

sharibartling
Explorer
Explorer
:)Ditto that J Rooster!

J-Rooster
Explorer
Explorer
When Mama's not happy no one else is happy!

sharibartling
Explorer
Explorer
I feel your pain. I keep planning trips then have to cancel because something major broke at my stick house, or something like that. I always want to believe things happen for a reason. Maybe by being forced to stay home we avoided an unknown. Well, that's what I tell myself 😉