Eric,
I think you have it right, just always know where the baking soda is. Lead/Acid batteries do not play nice in parallel. If you think the older 12V has a problem, is loosing water or getting hot, get it out of there.
While your friend is largely correct, the reason is the total circuit's resistance and the internal resistance of the jars. They will never charge or deplete the same. There is nothing you can do about that.
If you have two 12Vs that came of the line in succession, and you strap them together they still will never charge or drain the same. That is just their nature.
Matt
Matt & Mary Colie
A sailor, his bride and their black dogs (one dear dog is waiting for us at the bridge) going to see some dry places that have Geocaches in a coach made the year we married.