Travel with 4 year old Grandson

[Dave_Pete]

Hello. My wife and I are considering a "January/February Get Out of Wyoming trip this year for between 2 weeks and 2 months, depending on when we get home sick. Planning to leave on a nice weather and road conditions day and head to southern California.

Recently we started watching our 4 year old grandson five days a week to help out our daughter financially.

We could have her enroll him in day care for those two months or take him with us; a "travel the world before you enter school" kind of thing. He's very active and into everything new. So smart and gregarious, not at all an introvert. If we take him we have plans to bring pre-school home-school type curriculum to occupy some of his travel trailer time, and are planning age appropriate child related travel visits and activities along the way.

But my wife and I are quite introverted and love our quiet time together, watching TV, wordlessly sipping coffee, etc.

Which of you have personal experience with just such a trip and would you advise for or against it? Insights welcome.

[mvpmich]

We started taking outer grandchild on camping trips when he was 3. We started at a week and extended them to about ten days. It was fun and exhausting. Each situation is different so it's hard to give advice as to what to do and what will work. I can only say that our children thoroughly enjoyed being on the road when they were young. We started when they were 3 months old. They still enjoy camping and like to horn into the time when we take our grandchild. If you can make the situation work go for it, but be prepared if your grandchild gets homesick.

[Chock_Full_o__N]

Dave Pete wrote:
That's a good question Opie. Of course each child (as any person) is different. Some need their friends, some do much better on their own. As I said this child is quite gregarious and my wife and I are somewhat introverted, and that is not quite the best recipe for success - this young, that long.

We have decided against taking him. There will be ample opportunity for other trips, bonding, etc. We have recently taken him on for day care until next fall he goes to Kindergarten. Right now he does half a day pre-school 4 days a week, but we have all been having lots of fun. It's nice though to say "Bye - see you tomorrow!" and that is really the key.

Thanks all so much for your thoughts!

I think you are very wise.

[Dave_Pete]

That's a good question Opie. Of course each child (as any person) is different. Some need their friends, some do much better on their own. As I said this child is quite gregarious and my wife and I are somewhat introverted, and that is not quite the best recipe for success - this young, that long.

We have decided against taking him. There will be ample opportunity for other trips, bonding, etc. We have recently taken him on for day care until next fall he goes to Kindergarten. Right now he does half a day pre-school 4 days a week, but we have all been having lots of fun. It's nice though to say "Bye - see you tomorrow!" and that is really the key.

Thanks all so much for your thoughts!

[Opie431]

If he goes with you, who is your grandson going to have for friends, besides you two of course.
Have you asked you daughter what she would do?

[noe-place]

We started taking our grandson with us on our MH trips when he was about four. His mom and dad work of course so I thought he might enjoy seeing the world with his grandparents. We've continued this every year since and each time we can get away he wants to go with us; he's almost 13 now. So far we've been to every state (except Hawaii) and Canada a couple of times. We've also taken him on two cruises to the Bahamas and Mexico. This summer we flew to Alaska and took him. His travels frequently come up during conversations at the dinner table and other times. He enjoys telling classmates about where he's been and what he's seen, done and experienced. These trips are invaluable in that they increase the childs knowledge of the world around them. We just got back from a trip to the mountains in Tennessee last week and he's talking about where are we going next? I can't wait till he gets his license and then I told him he's going to do all the driving!

[campersuzid]

Back in 1976 I took my children on a cross country camping trip. (Just me in our Mercury stationwagon, tent, and Coleman campstove as Dad never warmed to camping.) My son was 7 yrs old and daughter 4. It was a great adventure but my son was thrilled to get back to his friends and the comforts of home. He still firmly considers "roughing it" a Holiday Inn with no swimming pool. On the other hand, my daughter become a devoted out-of-doors person. As a matter of fact, after completing college she announced she couldn't live in the big city (actually the Washington DC area) and was moving to Whitefish, Montana, a location she recalled from that 1976 trip. She has been in Montana for more than a decade and now takes her children camping and they love the outdoors too.

The moral of the story, your grandson may love it or not. Which every you and he will have great memories and hopefully will share of love of the outdoors.

On our last camping trip with our grand-daughters (4 yrs old) I let them use an old digital camera to take pictures. They had a great time and got some amazing shots. Things do look difference from their height. I am currently putting those photographs together in an ebook. More great memories. OMG, I love camping!

[Dave_Pete]

You all have been so thoughtful and full of great ideas and opinions. Thanks for such a wonderful response. We'd love to hear from more of you.

The essence of what I'm getting is reality versus fantasy.

The father figure is involved and feels similar to the mother.

The mother sees the benefits of the fantasy issues and feels the concerns of the reality issues, as do both my wife and I.

We're taking grandson for 4-5 days in early November to great grandma's for a visit. We'll see how that kind of time period goes.

Two winter trips is unlikely due to the distance we have to travel to get out of winter and into nicer weather, so a homesick grandson would likely result in an extremely shortened trip for ourselves; not the best of precedence to set. And that doesn't even address the mom's homesickness for her son.

There will be plenty of time to bond, including those summer boating and fishing day trips from the home location.

Keep up the input!

[michigansandzil]

I have a 4 year old.
2 months is entirely way too long to be away from mom and honestly, I'm pretty sure that even the best of grandparents would be pulling their hair out by the end. I MIGHT let my dd spend 3 nights away from me, then I would want her back. 4 is too young.

Maybe take a 1 week trip with the grandson, return him to his mother, then go back out just yourselves for the month. I'm sure your daughter appreciates the help with childcare, but you have to fulfill your own needs/desires to vacation as well.

[Chock_Full_o__N]

I have not taken grandchildren away on a trip, so maybe my opinion is worthless. But I do remember well going to MY grandparents' house in NC in the summer when I was ages 5-11. They used to come get us in the summer to give my poor mom a break from the 5 kids. Usually they took us two older kids. There intention was to keep us about 6 weeks. I dont' think I ever made it to 2 weeks before I was missing home too much. I did pretty good the first week. It was a novelty to have my grandparents almost all to myself. Even though my grandparents were wonderful, after the first week I was tired to being at their house and ready to get back to my toys and friends, ready to see my mom and dad and my siblings.

I don't think I would try to take a 4yr old off for a 2 month trip. Having kids during the day is not the same as having 24hr/day responsibility for extended weeks. Frankly, I would be exhausted and irritable--not a good thing for a 4yo baby!

[Oaklevel]

My 2 cents is depends on the child and the relationship..... /You didn't mention the father if there is one is he good with it ?????

But when our kids were young 2-3 out would be a max........... but again depends on the child ......your relationship...... & how geared everything is to him......

If you do this be sure you daughter gives you written power of attorney in case there is an accident to be able to make medical decisions without needing to find your daughter before treatment can begin.......

[PatStab]

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[PatStab]

I don't have any grandkids but I remember mine, that wouldn't have worked well. I wouldn't try this for that period of time. If finances are the issue, why not help your daughter pay for daycare and let him stay home. I think 4 is way to young. When he gets a bit older I think he and you would both enjoy it more. Just my 2 cents worth. I agree that you will likely be driving a crying child back home again in short order.

[KristinU]

My two cents as a mom: I think the idea sounds great "on paper" but when it comes down to it, I don't think I would have let my parents take my son for two or more weeks when he was that young. We would have missed him way too much. What does your daughter say about this prospect?

That said, the younger years is the time to do this stuff - before school, before neighborhood friends, before activities that are more of a commitment, etc. However as someone else mentioned, he won't remember much at 4. I know my DS at 9 doesn't remember a lot that we did when he was that young...but I'm glad we did stuff because it starts instilling the lifestyle and love of "go see it"

[loulou57]

patperry2766 wrote:
Some of the fondest memories I have growing up was the family vacations. Don't know how much he will remember being 4 years old, but I say go for it and take `em along.
My dad lives about 5 hours away and he ALWAYS has a excuse for not coming to visit his grandson....yet he doesn't understand why he doesn't bond with him the few times per year that we are all together.

I am sorry..your dad is missing out. We have family exactly the same, they now wonder why as adults my children don't call them.



DavePete,
We have great memories with our kids when they were little and still now with them and their kids camping. It is different though taking a small child from his enviroment, away from his mum.

I would love to see a trip like this work wonderfully. We have tried with all five of ours. It is not that we aren't close either, like I said, they have practically lived here, LOL.

After the first week they missed home and we have had to drive them back. Either that or listen to a child screaming in sorrow.

I would like to hear from others who have done this with small children.

We camp with our grandchildren and their parents right now. When the little ones get older we will take them longer. Next year the oldest two will be 11 and 12. We plan on taking them on a long trip.

The decision will be yours. We can all give opinions and I feel mine might differ from most. The decision you make will be the right one. We don't know either you or your family and can only give our personal family stories.

You will have a great trip however your decision goes.