How do you know when...

[Anmacc2]

DW and I are 56yo. Unfortunately DW was diagnosed at 15yo (yes, fifteen) and has some serious health issues, so we've been hitting our bucket list as fast as time and money allow for forty years. She has done remarkably well, has an awesome attitude, and it's been quite a ride!!! But time is taking its toll...

I've spoken with my HR department (same job 35yrs) and I can be very flexible with time and reduce my work time to 200days a year. DW is not in that position and would need to leave her job of 20yrs. to match my time off. Disability is not an option as she is a medical accountant and capable to do that.

If we could go to 65 we'd be fine, but honestly We don't think we have that much time. Our kids (all in their thirties) agree and are encouraging us to live it to the fullest now.

If we cut back now, we will go through our nest egg by 62 and then live on a fixed income of $4200 a month with cost of living adjustments for the rest of our lives.... If we shoot for 65 our nest egg would be in tact and our fixed income would be $8000 a month.

We're scared... It's a lot to consider.... I feel like the stakes are really high...
I don't know if I'm venting or seeking advice...

[FunnyCamper]

Anmacc2 wrote:
But time is taking its toll...

but honestly We don't think we have that much time.
I don't know if I'm venting or seeking advice...

I read this part the most.

you are doing both. venting cause your hand in life is being forced in a way and seeking advice on how others might handle this situaiton. realization of bad medical situations coming to a head are super scary. the future can change in a blink and it is not on our schedules.

if your DW is getting worse and you both see this and acknowledge it, then I would go with your gut and act on what you both want out of your last years together.

We are facing this now. hubby works backbreaking job, 12 hr shifts. 4 on, 4 off. nearing 50 this year, with other back issues, like fracture early in life as a youngster from falling out of deer stand and falls from breaking horses etc ....he is becoming more and more of a pretzel with the back. We have done countless medical situations to help, mri, etc and no one really can find a way to improve his back/pain levels.

So we are in the midst of living simple and easy and LESS hard work. We are changing NOW so that when he is in his early 60s and we hit the road full time--he won't be in a wheelchair or something.

When you forsee medical situations in your face and changes 'want' or need to be made, do them while you can 🙂 We are. We are changing our lives so he can quit and work an easier job and not kill ourselves for the pursuit of the almighty dollar anymore (don't get me wrong, we do have alot in 401k, stocks, land etc) but it is super scary to ditch the money and go into an unknown income area at a younger age. But in the end, no matter what, health comes first to us and we intend to do whatever is necessary to help ourselves go into older years without a ton more med problems.

best of luck in what you decide and let us all know LOL

no guarantee in anything in life, we know that, but it is time to work on ourselves and not chase the dollar anymore 🙂

[Anmacc2]

fla-gypsy wrote:
Based on your post you have set up to go at 56 or 65. Why not some compromise in between that will increase the total monies that are available and not consume what is available so fast. Have you spoken to an attorney about disability for your wife? You would be surprised at what can qualify as a disability and what a good attorney is able to do in that area.

This is the compromise.... I can continue to work at a reduced 200 days a year and keep my full time status including health insurance. We've reduced our living expenses as much as possible, that's not what is going to eat up the money. Our bucket list will eat it up...

We have checked with a lawyer. DW will qualify eventually, but that will be too late for what we want to do. Right now we can still do it all but it diminishes each year.

Everyone here is helping us!!! Thank you!!! Please keep it coming. We need the affirmation and the reality checks. Thank you!!!

[Sport45]

We can all say what we would (might) do, but the only opinion that matters is what you and your wife decide.

I'm 55 and we're not bad off. But if I discovered I only had 10 years to live I'd probably work as many of them as I could to set my wife up even better financially when I'm gone.

My suggestion is to talk to your wife and do what she wants. Don't try to use my opinion or anyone else's to change her mind.

[SuperiorBound]

jplante4 wrote:
You need to consider the problem you will have with your leg. It's going to be pretty sore when you start kicking yourself in the butt for not going now.

Tough decision, no easy answer. But if you knew she was not going to be around tomorrow what would your answer be? Glad you spent the time together or that you continued working and are in a better position. Whichever gives you the best sleep at night.

[rr2254545]

Crowe wrote:
Go for it NOW. What happens if you wait and she doesn't make it? Shoulda, coulda, woulda is not a good way to live. Enjoy the time you have now. You may not have it in the future.

Yes go for it you will not regret your decision

[georgelesley]

Maybe you can reduce the present lifestyle a bit and stretch the money further. I faced the same situation when my first wife was terminal. I asked her that while she still could was there anything she still wanted to do that we had not done? She thought a bit and then said "No, I think we have about done it". I hope I can say the same. I have never regretted the money we spent at the last. Having been there I can tell you the memories are priceless. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[FunnyCamper]

dreamer wrote:
You can always make more money, you can't make more time.

Good luck.
dreamer.

absolutely, so agree.

you can't even buy time 🙂
don't chase the almighty dollar or be scared. people live in this world on 'nothing', you are way ahead of the game 🙂

[jplante4]

You need to consider the problem you will have with your leg. It's going to be pretty sore when you start kicking yourself in the butt for not going now.

[fla-gypsy]

Based on your post you have set up to go at 56 or 65. Why not some compromise in between that will increase the total monies that are available and not consume what is available so fast. Have you spoken to an attorney about disability for your wife? You would be surprised at what can qualify as a disability and what a good attorney is able to do in that area.

[Crowe]

Go for it NOW. What happens if you wait and she doesn't make it? Shoulda, coulda, woulda is not a good way to live. Enjoy the time you have now. You may not have it in the future.

[Opie431]

My parents practiced living on what their income would be for several months before the time came. Try doing the same thing. I would bet that like them you will have no problems. And they still saved money each month.

[dreamer]

You can always make more money, you can't make more time.

Good luck.
dreamer.

[gbopp]

Life is short. I agree with your kids.
I wish you both well, whatever you decide.
Life is short.