Is it just me? Or do you not talk about Health Issues ?

[RoadXYZ]

Good evening everyone ... we went to the local Dairy Queen (DQ)at noon today and in the parking lot we met a couple (5 yrs older than us) - both of whom we had not seen for years - they were really better friends with DH’s parents than us even though they are only 5 years older than us.

Anyway we sat down to have lunch together as they initially had asked where we had been, but really didn't listen or show in anyway they cared ... they simply wanted to know why they could not get ahold of us when DH's folks died. They had seen the obit awhile back and wanted to know what DH's folks had died from.

They could only talk about their medical issues, surgeries, ills, insurance costs, and people we all knew as to their ills, pills, etc.

Do you also not enjoy sitting down with people who only have two topics they want to talk about - Medicare and Money (I have referred to these people as the M&M conversationalists.)?

I am not Ranting or Complaining, just wondering why people are not grateful for their health instead of having to tell people about their medical issues ?

I am grateful for my family, their love, my health, my energy level, and the ever lasting love of my husband. Don't get me wrong I have my "down days", but strive to keep smiling and love to see others smile.

I would rather make people laugh & smile than share my health or money issues.

Sorry this is so long a post, and hope y'all understand that the above is why it is so very hard for us to even consider going into a 55+ complex .. we love to volunteer and the people we meet are upbeat and enjoy their RV Lifestyle .. whether it be volunteering or Camping or ?

And have never talked outside of RV.Net about the postings here, but have been encouraged and enlightened by y'all and your sharing. And especially when I have had questions which y'all very nicely answered. Thank you very much for your helps.

[raindove]

It's like anything else. Talking about things can be helpful and educational - morally supportive. Even just the moral support can be really important when someone is dealing with serious issues.

I think what the OP was referring to is when the subject goes beyond the realm of reasonable.... like the ppl whose meal was ruined by surgery details.

We are all different and that's what makes the world go 'round.

[CA_POPPY]

We've had a special dinner out ruined by somebody seated nearby describing her gall bladder surgery in gory detail. Oddly, her companions did not seem bothered at all. I would've asked to be moved but our young server was disabled himself (deaf) and I didn't want him to feel like he'd done something wrong.

On the other hand, we've had some disastrous medical problems in our family and the support of other people who had been through something similar absolutely saved us. Sometimes, those folks were of more practical help with their suggestions than anything medical personnel could provide.

You never know when a word of compassion may mean the world to someone.

[RoadXYZ]

After I posted this, I called my youngest daughter and she said "Mom, you are not as "old thinking" as many people younger than you. oh, and BTW consider this my SAC, we are home." SAC stand for Safe Arrival Call - something this family does as a means of contact information.

I liked her telling me that we are not really old, and telling us we are more active and have better things to talk about than many our own age or older. That was so good to hear at my age !


And thank you about the hint to : "change the subject" - will try that next time.

Thank you for the hints and chuckles ..

[mockturtle]

Yeah, I get it. I'm a nurse, a fact I try to keep under wraps when I'm with people I don't know well. I really don't want to see people's weird rashes or look at what they've been coughing up for 2 months.

Me, too, and I actually don't mind talking about medical issues. But I also can't help but call quackery by its rightful name and some people don't like that.

[emzee]

If I enjoy people and their company I don't mind listening to health issues at all. It might help them feel better or I may have input. Maybe they don't have the Google and RV.net to find answers. Medicare really isn't for the old. It is the most convoluted misunderstood piece of the health care system I have ever seen. I can understand people talking about it. I guess I am the only one here that doesn't mind.:@

I will think twice before sharing anything medical again though. :R

It is funny to see this in this particular forum lol!!!

[2oldman]

It's sad, but many oldsters have nothing else going on in their lives. And with big health issues, there isn't much of anything that *can* go on in their lives.

Many snowbirds have nothing to talk about but the trip down, and where they ate. Eating is a big topic of discussion.

[raindove]

Re: purpose of this forum.....
Yes, but.... there's a difference between asking a question or getting a little moral support -- and real life where there are ppl who can't carry on a conversation unless it's about all the gorey details of their problems. A big difference. 🙂

[skipnchar]

Is it just me? Or do you not talk about Health Issues ?

I believe that's the whole PURPOSE of this particular forum :H

[Chock_Full_o__N]

kalynzoo wrote:
I try not to mention that I am a Pharmacist.:B
Sometimes health issue conversations are relevant, but usually I try to keep the conversation on Nature or Rving. My parents always sayed to keep the conversation away from sex, money, and raising children.
When in a conversation, a person found out that a doctor friend was an MD, they would often try to ask medical question. His reply was often: Come step into this room and take off all your clothing for me.:B It usually ended the conversation.
Happy Trails.

Yeah, I get it. I'm a nurse, a fact I try to keep under wraps when I'm with people I don't know well. I really don't want to see people's weird rashes or look at what they've been coughing up for 2 months. :R

It is kinda funny how people like to talk about their medical stuff. My mother is the WORST about it. She not only tells me all the details of HER health, she talks about all the details of the health of her friends. Seriously, MOM? Do your friends know you're telling everyone about their gnarly, infected feet and the results of their recent colonoscopy? The things that I know about her neighbors and friends.:S

[raindove]

Steve_Martin wrote:
I have early onset Parkinson's. DW and I have learned to have fun with. The neighbors all look after me if I'm outside. They come help me up if I fall down or if I look like i'm cornfused! Which is usually normal for me! So medical issues in conversation have become the norm with us, but we try to to focus on it. Atitude is the most important thing. We are very much glass half full folks. Though parkinson's is not a funny thing, it does provide some comic refief from time to time! Now what bothers me is the looks I get when I ride the old lady carts at wally world. I don't look sick and I'm not old yet, but if looks could kill....

I think you have a great attitude. We have to play with the cards life deals us. I find it better to laugh things off, rather than get depressed about it.

As far as not looking sick and getting looks, I hear ya.... I have breathing problems, back problems, and a bum ankle. To look at me, I look fine. I hate riding the carts and I push as hard as I can. When I walk with a cart, I am slow and ppl get mad that I am in their way and go flying around with dirty looks.... if I ride the carts, ppl look at you like you are too lazy to walk..... Ya can't win.

That always bothers me, but I'm working on ignoring ppl like that. I keep telling myself it's their problem not mine.....:(

[Bonefish]

WoodGlue wrote:

kalynzoo wrote:
His reply was often: Come step into this room and take off all your clothing for me.:B It usually ended the conversation.
Happy Trails.

Hahahahaha Great way to handle that situation!

Breaking out the disposable rubber gloves and the Vasoline works too! :R

[Steve_Martin]

I have early onset Parkinson's. DW and I have learned to have fun with. The neighbors all look after me if I'm outside. They come help me up if I fall down or if I look like i'm cornfused! Which is usually normal for me! So medical issues in conversation have become the norm with us, but we try to to focus on it. Atitude is the most important thing. We are very much glass half full folks. Though parkinson's is not a funny thing, it does provide some comic refief from time to time! Now what bothers me is the looks I get when I ride the old lady carts at wally world. I don't look sick and I'm not old yet, but if looks could kill....

[raindove]

DH and I both have a lot of major medical issues. I don't really like talking about it with friends or relatives. I find that people who haven't been in your shoes don't understand anyways.

I have one friend who has issues and her physical limitations as far as walking and energy levels are about the same as mine. I like going away with them, as she and I play out about the same time. We sit and rest and the guys can go do things that we aren't up to.

With DH waiting for a transplant, it comes up in conversation. But I'd rather talk about traveling, our grandkids, dogs, etc.

For some people, I think they have nothing else of interest going on in their lives and they focus on the medical stuff. They probably go to dr's appts and sit and watch tv.

One thing that sort of struck me.... a few times we have met strangers while on RV trips..... one couple was sitting with a dog and the dog was looking at us, almost like it knew we would walk over. Talked a few words to the owners. Later in the day we saw the same folks again. They asked if we were retired and the subject of the transplant came up. This guy was on the verge of starting dialysis and had a lot of questions that we answered. It was odd because if it weren't for their dog, we would have never spoken to them.

Another time a fellow started talking to us on the beach and it turned out he needed a heart transplant and his MIL who was with them was on the verge of starting dialysis too. He really just needed to talk about it.

In those two cases - it struck me as odd how the subject came out in a conversation with a total stranger. I think these folks felt better after talking to us - we shared our experiences and how we deal with traveling and keeping on living despite the problems. I really felt that in some small way, we helped them a bit. We really didn't go into personal details, but more or less shared what to expect in the process and how to keep on living and not let it be the end of the world.

So bottom line, I agree.... I don't need to hear all the nitty gritty details about other's health issues. There's better things in life to think and talk about. But sometimes there can be merit to health discussions.

[mockturtle]

I don't know what's worse, sharing their ailments or sharing their remedies.

[fla-gypsy]

I avoid those people, I have my own issues which are a private matter and I am too busy enjoying the time I have here to listen to or comment on someone elses medical problems which I am sure I am not qualified to do.